Create Healing and Love Now

I just learned that geese love and cooperate and pull together in a way that we can certainly benefit from understanding.  Are you attempting to do it all alone?  Do you believe that YOU have to have all the qualities within yourself, all the strength, all the drive, all the love, all the desire?  Do you allow others to assist you or teach you or —- love you?

I have discovered that when I allow others into my life, into my sphere of influence, into my projects — yes, for awhile I may have to slow down, change direction and not see the results I want.  But other people add so much richness, they provide another dimension, a different perspective.  Sometimes they motivate me when I feel like giving up or they become a role model for me to follow.

Please enjoy this brief movie about the power of pullling togther as a team.  Pulling together is essential for ALL relationships – family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances and most of all, with our most intimate partners.  Love is not enough if we are not pulling together as a team and helping each other fly in the direction of our dreams.

http://www.pullingtogethermovie.com/?cm_mmc=Responsys-_-MO-_-8.30.10-_-PUTGmovie

Please share your thoughts and responses about pulling together.

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

Relationships are all about give and take, give and receive, give and expect something in return?  Right?  WRONG!  Believe it or not, even though we call it a relationship, it is more about how much YOU are willing to give.  How much are YOU willing to give WITHOUT GUARANTEE OF ANY RETURN?

The relationships I am talking about are not only our most intimate relationships but every relationship we are involved with.  For example, your relationship with your boss.  Are you willing to do whatever the job calls for and more, without guarantee of recognition, recompense or even acknowledgement?  Are you willing to love and acknowledge and appreciate your friend, your child, your parent, your partner or your spouse – NO MATTER WHAT – no matter how angry, sad, self-centered, unfair, difficult or demanding they are?

Watch this new movie from Simple Truths.com.  Practice the 100-0 RULE for a full 30 days and see what happens.  Imagine living that way, day in and day out, taking full responsibility for every one of your interactions with every single relationship?  Please watch this simple movie and share your comments below.

 http://www.100-0principle.com/?cm_mmc=Responsys-_-TU-_-08.24.10-_-HUZOmovie

Would you like to learn how to implement the 100-0 Rule to transform your relationhips?  Sign up for the upcoming AMP Up Your Relationship Teleseminar. 

Ask a question at http://www.ASKDrE.com 

Listen to the introduction replay at http://www.ASKDrE.com/reply.php.

You meet someone who sparks your interest and causes your heart to flutter.  You begin a new job with a sense of excitement and dreams of grandeur.  You enroll in a new program to begin studying your chosen academic or technical career.  You just discovered that you or your partner is pregnant.  You start a new business project with enthusiasm, energy and a sense of adventure. 

Every beginning is exciting, invigorating, even thrilling.  Every beginning brings hope and energy, focused attention, special meaning and desire to overcome any form of adversity.  Every beginning offers the hope that this time you will succeed, you will achieve your goals and live your dreams. 

Beginnings are usually wonderful.   Our body is pumped up with hormones, naturally produced drugs that keep our energy high and our mood elevated.  No need for stimulating drugs when we are high on love for a new person, new place or new activity. 

But beginnings are just that, beginnings.  The energetic high, the hope, the thrill, the excitement, the wonder and the focused attention usually do not last.  Reality, real life, sets in.  While in the throes of our own excitement, we may have overlooked some important red flags.  As the hormone highs diminish, we are left with the hard work of real life – studying, working, sometimes tedious drudgery, difficult communication, delays, frustrations, challenges, and lots of unmet needs. 

The best time to step back and evaluate where you are going is NOT when your energy begins to wane and your excitement has diminished.  The best time to evaluate, take stock, and set your goals is before you even begin.  Once you begin, once the hormones are flowing, your cerebral cortex (the part of your brain that controls your conscious thought) can be temporarily incapable of making accurate evaluations.  

 “Love is blind” is not just a saying.  Love can truly interfere with rational decision making.  AMP Up Your Relationship, a special 3 module teleseminar series, begins with some very real facts about what happens to your body in the throes of “falling in love,” and why it is so difficult to make wise choices in this beginning phase.  For this special teleseminar series, as a Healing Through Love Mentor I have joined forces with a Divorce Mediator.  As we take you through the stages of relationships, you will view your own choices and your current relationship in a new way.  This small shift in your perception and attitude can produce huge and lasting changes in your relationship and your life. 

Get more information and listen to the replay of the introductory call at http://www.ASKDrE.com/replay.php   

Dr. Erica

Author of Love Me, Touch Me, Heal Me: The Path to Physical, Emotional, Sexual and Spiritual Reawakening

Find the love consciousness in your own heart

I believe there is only one power in this world – LOVE.  Negative emotions, evil thoughts, and even demonic actions are actually merely the absence of love.  Where love exists, there is little room for anything else.

Love consciousness.  That is the love I am talking about, not the kind of self-centered, demanding, eye- for-an-eye type of love.  Love consciousness allows us to see beyond the immediate appearance in front of us.  Our partner or colleague or child may be raging or viciously insulting us, but if we have the strength of love in our heart, we can actually see past the hostile words to the hurting, suffering child within this raging person.

I am not suggesting that we need to remain in any situation that may be emotionally, physically or even spiritually harmful to us.  But when we truly develop love consciousness, it becomes difficult to hate and much easier to forgive.  And forgiveness is what heals our own heart and allows us to move forward in our life with love.

Love consciousness involves three components: 

*  recognizing that love consciousness is the one true power

*  de-personalizing every thought, word or action of our own or others

*  nothingizing, making little to nothing out of blocks, delays and negative experiences

Imagine yourself living in this state of love consciousness.  How might you respond to your partner’s anger, your child’s disobedience, your boss’ unfair demands, your own procrastination and non-productive actions, your own perceived failures, and anything else in your life if you truly beieved that love is that powerful? 

What do YOU believe about love?  Do YOU believe that love conquers all, that love overcomes fear, anger and any negative emotions, and that love is truly the one power?

If you’ve been struggling in any phase of your relationships, please join us in a powerful teleseminar series that will truly AMP Up Your Relationships, teach you how to create lasting love, and reassure you at the same time. 

Ask a question now at http://www.ASKDrE.com. 

Listen to the replay and sign up now (only a few spots left) for this powerful teleseminar series introduction at http://www.ASKDrE.com/replay.php. 

Please share your thoughts and comments below about your own definition, experience and personal sense of love and love consciousness.

Dr. Erica

Love Yourself Now

Seems so simple, doesn’t it?  Just love yourself.  Don’t we all love our own self, the one person we are closest to and can never get away from?  Isn’t that silly to think that there are people who actually don’t love their own self?

Truth is, many of us, perhaps most of us, do not show as much kindness, consideration, attention and love for our own self as we do for other people, for our pets, and even for objects.  We often deny our true feelings in the effort to please someone else or to take care of something.  And then we hold on to resentments, sometimes indefinitely.

This past Saturday evening, I was an invited guest on a local radio show, Renew Your Life with Dr. Lisa Palmer, which airs on Saturdays at 6 PM ET, 1470 AM South Florida .  On the show, we were discussing love and what it takes to feel loved and to freely give love.  We realized that many of us have not developed or acknowledged our own philosophy of love.  Many of us have been following the dictates and directions of others (parents, siblings, media…).

What happens then when we get into relationships?  We often begin with a great deal of outward display of love which gradually dissipates as the other person becomes more real to us, and our judgements of “the way it should be” take over.  And when the other person does not respond as we expect or want, we have our own unique knee jerk reactions that can dampen and even destroy love.

Here is a good question to ask yourself, in any situation (taken from the book Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsh),   ”What would love do now?”  And you’re probably thinking, “If I was more loving, what would I do for this other person.”  But actually, the question is asking “What would love do now – FOR YOURSELF!”  In any given moment, in any circumstance, how would you behave, what would you think and feel, and how would you respond – IF YOU LOVED YOURSELF AND KNEW YOU WERE LOVED?

Think of how easy it would be to deflect negative comments and to stand strong in the face of setbacks, criticism and loss.  Keep these words in mind as you go through the next few days, “What would love do now — for myself” or reword it slightly by asking, “How would I respond … if I knew I was loved?”

Dr. Erica

Author of :  Love Me, Touch Me, Heal Me: The Path to Physical, Emotional, Sexual and Spiritual Reawakening

Labiaplasty, surgery to reshape your most intimate, feminine anatomy – the vulva and its external tissues – is creating quite a stir in the media.  Make no mistake.  This is a HUGE money making marketers’ dream.  The ads promoting this type of UNNECESSARY and potentially DANGEROUS surgery are playing upon your insecurities and doubts about your very basic femininity.

For years women have been given the message that we are not okay the way we are.  The average woman has been led to belileve that she is either too short or too tall, her boobs are not okay the way they are, her butt needs reshaping,  he thighs need fat removal, he face needs surgery or botox, etc.  Even men have fallen prey to these overriding media messages.  And increasing number of men have had surgeries to enhance their shoulder girth, improve their butts, flatten their abdomens, and even to lengthen their most important symbol of manhoos, their penises.

The goal of these surgeries, I presume, is to look more attractive and actually attract partners to engage in intimate sexual relations.  Problem is, some of these surgeries may lead to chronic and permanent physical problems that can actually interfere, for the rest of your life, with your enjoyment of the sexual act.  Especially when surgeries remove tissue in a woman’s vulva or around a man’s penis, scar tissu e develops that can numb sensation indefinitely (not to mention the inherent dangers of any major surgey which these are).

I am providing a link to a blog called “SelfServed,”  a blog site self-proclaimed to be about creating a “sex-positive world.”  Self Served includes the wisdom, experience and advice from sexexperts and also reminds us that each of us is our own sex expert.  Nobody else has the right to tell us what we need to do to improve our own natural beauty.

Warning.  The video shown in this link contains nudity and may be offensive to some women who have never actually seen a real woman’s vulva before.  This video may also be offensive to men who may view it at their own risk.  I am apologizing in advance to anyone who finds this information upsetting or offensive.  However,, my goal is to share this information with women.  If  I help even ONE female to choose to honor her own body and not be pulled into this dangerous scheme of body cutting/surgery supposedly for her own good, I have accomplished my goal in sharing this.

http://selfserved.blogspot.com/2010/07/you-dont-need-labiaplasty.html

“Breaking up is hard to do,”  the name of a popular song that hit the charts many years ago but the theme still stands today.  Breaking up is still hard to do.  If you have ever watched a friend, a loved one or anyone you know suffering in the throes of a heartbreaking relationship breakup, then you have probably wondered “What’s wrong with this person?”  “Why can’t they just get rid of that difficult, lying, cheating, or unworthy partner?”

Researchers at Stony Brook University reported that brain images of people in love, desiring love from a partner who resently rejected them, resemble brain images of cocaine addicts craving cocaine.  We have heard it said that love is sometimes an addiction.  This current research seems to validate that statement.

What parts of the brain show the greatest effect? In this research study, viewing a photo of their former girlfriend or boyfriend actually stimulated the following brain sections:

*  Ventral tegmental area in mid-brain – controls motivation and reward.

*  Nucleus accumbens & prefrontal cortex – linked to cravings and addiction

*  Insular cortex & anterior cingulate – affects physical pain and suffering

” The researchers said that these brain images also explain why extreme emotions and behaviors can be hard to control and may lead to stalking, homicide, suicide or depression.”  According to Arthur Aron, professor of social and health psychology at Stony Brook, “Extreme behaviors are associated with any intense desire.”

“Research has found that people intensely in love often feel that if only the other person loved them in return, life would be perfect. Given what people will do for wealth or power … it is not surprising when people feel such an important central desire is being thwarted, they will do extreme things.”

Researchers conclude that time is the best healer.  Over time, the link to the part of the brain associated with attachment becomes less active over time.  http://www.aolhealth.com/2010/07/23/researchers-identify-why-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/?icid=main|htmlws-main-n|dl3|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aolhealth.com%2F2010%2F0

If you, or someone you know, is caught in this type of painful breakup, be gentle, compassionate and continue to encourage this person to keep away from their object of desire, if possible.  Over time, their intense craving and desire will begin to dissipate.

Remember that old saying “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never harm me.”  Well, I believe that somebody got that all wrong.  Sticks and stones can break your bones, but bones will heal and sometimes become even stronger.  Words can harm for an entire lifetime, even after years of intensive counseling, therapy, self-reflection, and supportive love.  And words can literally make or break a business.  The right words can bring you love, success and everything you want in life; the wrong words can destroy everything you’ve taken years to build in just one moment.

What are these words that can cause a lifetime of emotional pain, insecurity, low self-esteem, inability to fully express oneself, self-doubt and sometimes even self-destructive habitis and actions?  Words spoken with the intention to label, demean, criticize, insult, shame and humiliate another person can create long lasting effects.  Especially for growing children whose brains are first developing, hurtful words can take on meanings above and beyond the original intent.  Children often interpret the words of an adult as “truth,” “the way it is.” Children, being egocentic, tend to believe the problems are all caused because they are not good enough, they are lacking and they are therefore unworthy.

The right words, spoken at the right moment, have the potential to heal even a lifetime of negative self-talk and memories of the hurtful words of others.  Healing words are spoken with kindness, gentleness, compassion, and concern for the effect upon oneself and others.  Healing words validate, encourage, respect, value, acknowledge, affirm and show appreciation for oneself and for others.

What are your words revealing about the way you think, feel and respond to others?  What effect are other people’s words having upon your own sense of confidence, well being and self-respect?  What words would you use, right now, to describe yourself, your life, your clients and customers, and the people with whom you are most intimate?

Progress is evolutionary, not revolutionary.  For me, that statement is revolutionary, creating an instant sense of “AHA!”  No wonder everything seems to take so much longer than I expect.  Everything we do requires time:

*  Time to be introduced to new thoughts, ideas, skills and actions

*  Time to study and practice using new thoughts, ideas, skills and actions

*  Time to learn, assimilate and master new thoughts, ideas, skills and actions

*  Time to share our new knowledge with others

Your predeominant goal right now might be to find love, to bring back the passion in your current love relationship, or to overcome problems and difficulties.  You current goal might be to find a job, start a new vocation, create your own business or improve relationships with your boss, co-workers, employees or joint venture partners.  Your current goal might be to heal yourself of a chronic illness with a poor prognosis.

Whatever your life goals are, for the present or for the future, remember that progress toward your goal is often very slow, sometimes appearing as if there has been no progress at all.  Just continue to focus on what you truly desire, taking all the small steps you can manage going toward your goal.  The evolutionarey process will take over and you will gradually be guided toward attainment of your dream.

Watch this simple video now and enjoy your own evolution!

http://www.bestwayout.com/?cm_mmc=Responsys-_-WK-_-07.18.10-_-BWOTmovie