What Are YOU Thinking Now?
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* Are you thinking clearly and positively and with high regard for yourself?
* Are your thoughts, moment to moment, supporting you to live your dream?
* Do you have some nagging self-doubts or negative thinking than hinders you?
Read the following list of cognitive distortions, distorted thinking, negative perspectives. Notice how many of these types of thoughts enter your mind, frequently, sometimes, or even occasionally, and interfere with clarity, purpose and connection with others.
1. FOCUS ON NEGATIVE: Do you focus on negative information and somehow overlook positive feedback?
2. SHOULDS: Do you have the habit of “shoulding on yourself,” punishing yourself with lots of rules about how you should and others should act?
3. ALL OR NONE LABELING: Do you generalize one or two qualities or behaviors into a global judgment of yourself or others? For example, if you make a mistake or don’t follow through or upset someone, do you label yourself “a loser,” “a failure,” or a “bad person.”
4. GENERALIZING TO ALL SITUATIONS: Do you react to the events of one circumstance and reach a general conclusion about all future circumstances? For example, if you make a mistake, do you assume you will never be able to do this and just give up?
5. BLAMING: Do you tend to look outside of yourself and seek to make other people or circumstances responsible for your problems or lack of success?
6. TAKE IT PERSONALLY: Do you think everything other people say and do is because of you, a reaction to you, or an attitude specifically toward and about you?
7. CONTOLLED BY OTHERS: Do you feel that you are controlled by others, by circumstances beyond your control, and that you are a helpless victim?
8. YOU ARE IN CONTROL: Do you feel that you are always responsible for other people’s pain or joy or for all the circumstances that befall you?
9. RULED BY YOUR EMOTIONS: Do you let your emotions determine what you think about yourself or others? For example, if you feel insecure or inadequate in one situation, do you think you must be stupid, boring, a loser, unsuccessful?
10. YOU ARE ENTITLED: Do you feel “entitled” and “expect” to get what you want because of who you are or because of how hard you have worked or because you have sacrificed or denied your own needs?
11. OTHERS MUST CHANGE: Do you demand and expect that other people need to change to suit your needs and to make you happy? Do you sometimes try to manipulate others to change to please you?
12. YOU ARE RIGHT: Do you find yourself continually “proving” that your opinion, your idea, your judgements and your actions are “right” and the other person is therefore “wrong?”
13. YOU KNOW WHAT OTHERS FEEL: Do you think you “know” what others are thinking and feeling with no facts or no verification from them? Do you interpret things negatively or positively before checking it out?
14. CATASTROPHIZING: Do you expect the worst and exaggerate the difficulties? Do you fill your mind with “what ifs,” what if I never succeed, what if he/she leaves me, what if…?
15. DISCOUNT YOUR OWN SUCCESS: Do you discount or reject positive experiences, personal successes or the value of your own unique skills? If you a good at doing something, do you tell yourself “anyone could do that”?
How many of these self-limiting thoughts do you still focus on in your daily life? How many of these thoughts have you transformed into a more positive, success oriented and healing perspective? Please share your comment in the box below.
Here’s to living the life of your dreams, filled with love, passion and compassion, especially for yourself, every single day.
Schedule a counseling or coaching session at DrEricaWellness.com
Warmly,
Dr. Erica








June 24th, 2011 at 3:29 am
Dr. Erica, this was a great post. Simple and well laid out! I do constant personal development work, but it is easy to slip back in to old, bad habits that you outlined. And we often do it without thinking or realizing it! It is so important to always be aware of these points and to notice them when they creep up to counteract them with good positive and loving thoughts. Thanks so much for creating this great site and I look forward to adding this to my feed!
Jenna recently posted..How do Your Customers Find You?
[Reply]
Dr. Goodstone Reply:
June 26th, 2011 at 7:33 pm
Jenna,
Thanks for your supportive comments. Yes, I need to remind myself too. It is oh, so easy to slip back into non-productive thoughts when I’ve been working too hard and too long, if something happens to disturb me (from unnecessary traffic, the bridge going up and detaining me – I live near the ocean, something not working – like my fax or my printer). It’s good to be able to remind yourself to let go of unproductive thoughts.
Erica
[Reply]
June 24th, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Dr Erica,
Thank you for sharing the cognitive distortions list. This is very important information for everyone to understand how distorted thoughts create problems in relationships. In my course on Cognitive Distortions, I train professionals how to identify distorted thinking in their clients and offer a positive reframe to help clients change these thought patterns.
Peacefully yours,
Dr. Debra
Debra Wingfield recently posted..Kids Count and Effects of Violence on Children
[Reply]
Dr. Goodstone Reply:
June 24th, 2011 at 10:33 pm
Dr. Debra,
What you are teaching is so important because people believe that what they are thinking is true, is the way it is. But often our thoughts are actually deceiving us, they are just our own thoughts and can interfere with making wise choices and choosing helpful behaviors and actions.
[Reply]
June 25th, 2011 at 2:44 pm
Dear Erica,
You’ve made some very good points in your blog post. I think that what we do and become has a great deal to do with the food we eat – the physical food and the mental food.
Just earlier this morning I was speaking with my son about it. He was wondering why I am now successful at losing weight when previously nothing worked for me. I responded that I did not have the right mindset.
Negative thoughts…
What I call “stinking thinking” can stop us from reaching our goals. Thanks for bringing this truth to us.
Angela
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[Reply]
Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
June 25th, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Angela,
You are so right. That “stinking thinking” gets us every time. And as soon as we clean up our thoughts, it’s amazing what is possible to create in our lives.
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Oasis in the Overwhelm by Guest Blogger Millie Grenough
[Reply]
June 25th, 2011 at 11:33 pm
Aloha Erica,
Thanks for this list. It’s a great reminder of the power our minds and thoughts in general have over our daily lives. This is one reason why I’m such a big fan of journals – writing my thoughts down at least once each day really helps me to keep on track, and often to work out problems.
Marquita Herald recently posted..Continuing the Tradition – A Voyage of Awareness
[Reply]
Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
June 26th, 2011 at 1:39 am
Marquita,
I find that reading inspirational blogs and book passages as well as listening to inspirations CD’s while driving in my car is making a huge difference. It also helps to connect with and spend time with uplifting, positive people like yourself.
Warmly,
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Oasis in the Overwhelm by Guest Blogger Millie Grenough
[Reply]
June 26th, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Dr. Erica,
I think I’ve dealt with each one of those as one time or another. Frankly, it’s not so easy existing as a human being. Too much chatter going on and too much to consider all at one time. Interestingly, my wife and I are looking in to EFT, Emotional Freedom Training. I thought that it looked a little hokey at first and couldn’t figure how tapping could make a difference, but having recently had a positive experience with EFT I am delving into is deeper and trust that many of the thought processes mentioned can be handled.
RICK
Rick Lelchuk recently posted..The Battle: Lead with Product OR Lead with the Business?
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
June 26th, 2011 at 7:27 pm
Rick,
I have received, trained in and been certified in several body therapy methods. I studied shiatsu and traditional Chinese Medicine, Ayurveda and Hindu chakra balancing, Craniosacral Therapy, Massage, Polarity Therapy, Thai Massage and many more. My main work involves mostly the Rubenfeld Synergy Method of talk and touch http://www.RubenfeldSynergy.com/blog. Through all this work I have discovered how very powerful the mind body connection is. We have meridian energy lines, chakras (energy centers almost like gates between body sections), and we have synaptic connections in our brains. So when we are thinking and that thought pattern is interrupted through tapping, I can understand how change can occur.
The mind-body-spirit connection never ceases to amaze me.
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Oasis in the Overwhelm by Guest Blogger Millie Grenough
[Reply]
June 28th, 2011 at 2:21 am
Fortunately, I was able to answer no to most of the above questions. However, I’m guilty of the last one – selling yourself short. This article caused me to look back over the past year and note some very worthy accomplishments I’ve made in internet marketing. I had been discrediting myself because I’m not at my goal yet. From now on I will take time to celebrate the small victories along the way!
Thanks Dr Erica!
Steve Dooley recently posted..F.E.A.R. – False Evidence Appearing Real Drives Network Marketers Into Extinction
[Reply]
Dr. Goodstone Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 9:33 pm
Steve,
None of us knows how long it will take to achieve our goals. The most important thing is to acknowledge our small successes and to celebrate those successes. In fact, what Raymond Aaron teaches is to set 3 types of goals: Minimum, Target and Outrageous.
It seems to me that you have probably achieved your own minimally acceptable goals and probably even some of your Target goals, but perhaps you have not yet reached those goals that for you are outrageous, out of your comfort zone.
Erica
[Reply]
June 28th, 2011 at 2:31 am
Erica – Great post here. You’ve helped me to realize just how far I’ve actually come. About 4 years ago, I had all 15 of the items in my life every day all day. I’ve persistently and consistently found ways to eliminate each one of them from my daily life and thinking. Oh sure the gremlins do try to get back in on a daily basis; however I’ve empowered myself. After all, it is my choice. My choice how I react, how I think. Daily personal development helps to keep me in power.
Debi Talbert recently posted..It’s a Mad Mad Menopause
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 2:52 am
Debi,
I find that it also helps to be surrounded by postive thinking people, those who can support you to keep your thoughts on what is possible rather than focusing on doubts and insecurity.
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Oasis in the Overwhelm by Guest Blogger Millie Grenough
[Reply]
June 29th, 2011 at 1:37 am
Dr. Erica,
Oh man, where to start? They say thoughts are things and how true they are. Sometimes they are delayed but almost anytime you dwell on a subject or situation (good or bad) it almost always has a better chance of becoming a reality.
These are great points to consider. Thanks for the help.
-Dereck
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
June 29th, 2011 at 1:49 am
Dereck,
The solution is to pay attention, moment to moment if possible, to the thoughts and words we are using to describe our life, our self and our experiences.
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Oasis in the Overwhelm by Guest Blogger Millie Grenough
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June 29th, 2011 at 2:26 am
Hi Dr. Erica:
I can relate to a lot of these statements that you posted here. For many years, I lived my life with these types of thoughts. It wasn’t until I realized that these thoughts were not healthy for me that I finally began to slowly overcome them. It has a made such a difference in my life.
Kevin
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
June 29th, 2011 at 2:53 am
Kevin,
We all have had to overcome lots of preconditioned, non-productive thoughts and beliefs. It is wonderful to notice how far you’ve come when you realize that you are no longer struggling with many of those negative thoughts – at least not on a regular basis.
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Oasis in the Overwhelm by Guest Blogger Millie Grenough
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June 29th, 2011 at 5:44 am
Great post, Dr. Erica! I know that my biggest one tends to be the “proving yourself right” one. I think that there are times when I am falling more into these dangerous thought patterns than others, but I know that I have seen a lot of improvement, so I know that I can continue to improve on these issues.
Steve Nicholas recently posted..Are You Up to the Challenge?
[Reply]
Dr. Goodstone Reply:
June 29th, 2011 at 11:01 pm
Steve,
Reminds me of the zen term “Beginner Mind.” If you can approach most situations with a beginner mind, asking questions – even if you think you already know the answer and your answer is Right – that can easily change your perspective. It is really good that you are acknowledging that thought pattern that still crops up.
Erica
[Reply]
June 29th, 2011 at 6:22 am
Thanks for this powerful list Erica,
I have been guilty of a lot of these myself. I started studying NLP several years ago and the meta model introduced me to some of these like generalizations and all or none type globalizations.
It’s so important to have lists like these to refer to in order to uncover habitual patters of thought that can have a seriously negative impact on us.
Paul Reimers recently posted..Asking Better Questions – The Most Overlooked Tool in Personal Development
[Reply]
Dr. Goodstone Reply:
June 29th, 2011 at 11:02 pm
Paul,
One way to overcome these self-defeating or negative thought patterns is to ask better questions. I look forward to reading your post. When we have a questioning mind, we are not over-globalizing, self-doubting or judging others.
Erica
[Reply]
June 29th, 2011 at 8:32 am
Excellent collection of negative perspectives, Dr. Erica! Now I wonder if I should change my disorted? thinking as I recognize almost all of them happening to me in some phase of my life, sometimes all at the same time. I think catastrophizing things is my worst issue right now.
You amaze me with this collection, how can you know? Questions like “Is this common having this distorted thinking?, Am I not the only one having these thoughts?” keep popping in my head.
But I believe recognizing them is a good start of the road to walk, isn’t it?
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[Reply]
Dr. Goodstone Reply:
June 29th, 2011 at 11:04 pm
Nella,
Don’t let anyone fool you, even those appearing to have it together. We are all, every one of us, plagued by some of these distorted thoughts more often than we like to admit. What is important is to acknowledge the thoughts, ask questions – don’t just automatically believe what your mind is telling you. it is an ongoing process.
Erica
[Reply]
June 29th, 2011 at 8:57 am
I have been in one of those situations before. *guilty It is really important to recognize our self limiting beliefs for they are holding us back. Then we have to act against those self limiting beliefs. Changing the way we think is just one of the many steps we can do. Reality is what we perceive it to be, if you think you can fail, you already set yourself up to do so. If you think with full belief you will win, you will. Without passion what is life?
Lynne
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
June 29th, 2011 at 11:07 pm
Lynne, (Jans?)
You bring up a really good point. “Without passion what is life? It is so hard to hold on to your passion when you allow your mind to focus on all the ways you are limited, unworthy, guilty, inadequate or all the things you believe you should have already done and should be doing now. Let your passion rule the day – not your self-defeating thoughts.
Erica
[Reply]
June 29th, 2011 at 12:11 pm
Hi Erica,
Terrifying list, actually…. When I look around, this is what I see/hear/feel. And I have to confess, I still am guilty myself, many times, of some of these thoughts. Most of us are…
It actually takes a “lot” of work to turn our thoughts from the negative to the positive. We CAN find positive if we concentrate on it. Daily. All the time by monitoring our thought-patterns. I think that it’s very important to be FORGIVING for our limitations. Towards ourselves as well as others. To find the positive in any situation and be GRATEFUL for that. To “fight” any negativity – from inside or from outside by sending it back as LOVE to where ever it came from.
Katri
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
June 29th, 2011 at 11:09 pm
Katri,
I like what you just said; “To fight negativity – from inside or form outside by sending it back as LOVE to where ever it came from.” I like to send thst negative thinking part of me on a nice long vacation. Let it bask in the sun on a tropical island while I go about my business with determination, presence and confidence.
Erica
[Reply]
June 29th, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Hi Erica!
This is a thorough list of self-limiting thoughts. It’s interesting too, that I know better, but I can still catch myself unaware and be in any one of them at one time or another. However, I find acknowledging the thought makes it easy to change it to a positive one and take positive action. I made it a choice a long time ago to surround myself only with positive people, positive thinking and positive actions, a nicely supported position to be in. A very wise person told me a long time ago that “nothing is ever as it appears to be” – it puts a whole new perspective on what we are thinking about any thing or any person and takes away limiting generalizations and judgements.
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
June 29th, 2011 at 11:13 pm
Loren,
So true that nothing is ever as it appears to be. There is a saying that love brings up anything unlike itself for the purpose of healing and release. So often, when we most love another person, that is when we show our most intense feelings, both positive and negative. When we con’t feel that love, sometimes it is much easier to remain on an even keel emotionally. Which is better? Which would I rather have? I’d rather have the love, with all its ups and downs.
Erica
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July 4th, 2011 at 4:30 am
Dr. Goodstone, I know about a lot of these distortions, but the ones I hadn’t thought of or read about were the Entitled distortion, and the Others Must Change distortion. Wow, when we have those two going, we’re going to be pretty miserable
It’s so much better when we can catch those thoughts and turn them around.
Steve-Personal Success Factors recently posted..Discover 6 Secret Success Factors For Leading the Field
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
July 4th, 2011 at 5:11 am
Steve,
When you feel entitled, you don’t put in the effort that may be required and you will probably quit way before succeeding. And then, you will probably blame others for not changing instead of taking a look at yourself. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this.
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Oasis in the Overwhelm by Guest Blogger Millie Grenough
[Reply]
July 5th, 2011 at 1:30 am
Hello Dr. Erica,
You know for many years the churches I attended left me thinking I was a worm and had little worth. As you would imagine, that did not allow for much room to feel good about one’s self.
But by the grace of God, one day I came across a minister on TV who taught the word of God in such a way, that it built me up. It also caused me to began to study and search out the scripture for myself.
Then I came across a verse that admonished us, not to think “more highly” of yourself then you ought to think.
After reading and studying that verse a little further, I remember thinking, wow, if I am to not think “more highly” of myself, then that means that I would have to at least think “highly” of myself in the first place, before I could think more highly of myself.
People need to realize just how truly valuable they really are in God’s eyes, and think highly, in a good way, about themselves and others. Then maybe they would not have time for the all the negative thoughts, or maybe then they could combat them a little easier.
It saddens me to see humans belittling one another and/or themselves.
When I was a youth and mad at the world, a very wise older gentleman once told me, don’t take life too serious son.
Cheers
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 1:35 am
Willie,
That was an important realization, first that we need to think highly of ourselves to be able to let go of those thoughts. But usually, if we think highly of ourself, it is in comparison to what we think of others and it is all about our ego. But that is fragile. We can feel better than many people until we find someone with whom we feel less – and our negative perceptions begin again. Better to not take our own self so seriously and be of the mind set that we are here to learn and to serve others. No time for self-praise (well, maybe once in a awhile) and less time for self-criticism).
Erica
[Reply]
July 5th, 2011 at 7:28 am
Hello Erica,
I love the list, I am definitely a ‘Should’!
All things I impose on myself of course, it brings it home when someone like yourself spells it out;- I’m going to print off your list and laminate it for the office! Thanks for sharing
[Reply]
Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 1:36 am
Sadie-Michaela,
If you are, as you say, a “Should,” then what I have to say to you emphatically is: “Stop shoulding on yourself!” Allow yourself to just be in the moment and observe what is happening without judgement.
Erica
[Reply]
July 5th, 2011 at 8:31 am
Hi Erica,
Once again you do a thorough job reminding us how we limit ourselves.
I have to admit that others would say quite a few of these things about me, although I don’t think that way! I do relate to the one about selling myself short.
The silly thing is, that I have the track record, and am constantly working on the concept that I am not responsible for the results of others. Thanks again for helping me keep on my toes!
John Gaydon recently posted..If You Approached Me, Would I Listen To You?
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 1:37 am
John,
It doesn’t really matter what others say. What matters most is how we feel about our self, about our like, about how we are doing, moment to moment.
Erica
[Reply]
July 6th, 2011 at 10:44 am
Hi Erica,
This is an excellent example of the things we think that limit ourselves!
I think the last one I am still sometimes struggling with! Getting there slowly!!
Shoulding is a habit it took a while to get out of! I really do dislike that word! Almost as bad as can’t in my book!
Always a pleasure to stop by here.
All the best,
Emma

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July 6th, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Wow Emma,
That’s a big one for all of us. When we succeed at one aspect, we keep looking at what we have not yet acconmplished or compare our self to someone who seems to have accomplished more.
At least noticing it can help you to stop and acknowledge your own succeeses, big and small.
erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Oasis in the Overwhelm by Guest Blogger Millie Grenough
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July 7th, 2011 at 10:03 pm
I think that I am working on most of these but the one that sticks out the most is the very last one; discrediting my success and talents. Learning to listen to you inner dialogue is tough but it can be done. Most people don’t hear themselves. They don’t hear how they speak outward and especially they don’t hear how they speak internally. They are both just as important.
Nicole~ recently posted..The Public Myth
[Reply]
Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 14th, 2011 at 3:18 am
Nicole,
That is so common, to discredit your own successes and then observe other people’s successes as if they are greater. I have certainly done that. I just completed a 1 year marketing plan and I am patting myself on the shoulder for all I have already accomplished and all that is yet to come.
Erioa
[Reply]
July 18th, 2011 at 3:33 pm
I love this post. I have spent the last 25 years whittling down that list. I feel pretty comfortable that I manage my thoughts fairly well. It’s funny. I can instantly see when someone else is letting their thoughts be the boss, but sometimes I can’t see when I’m doing it myself. (luckily my whole family is also conscious of their thoughts so I get ‘reminded’ when I stray off track)
I spent some time with the affirmation, “I am aware of my thoughts” and it has helped tremendously.
Debbie Lattuga recently posted..But I Can’t Draw
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
July 19th, 2011 at 3:32 pm
Debbie,
So true. I can easily slip into focusing on non-productive thoughts. It feels so familiar there. It’s great to have people around you that remind you and get you back on track.
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Cuddling – Is it the Key to Long-Term Happy Relationships?
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July 20th, 2011 at 2:02 am
That’s a pretty good list! #2 is the one I need the most work on.
And #15. I was reminded just today that others see strengths in me that I don’t. I am learning that the way of wisdom is to accept what others tell me are my strengths, and act on them, so that others benefit from my gifts and abilities.
Willena Flewelling
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
July 26th, 2011 at 1:09 am
Willena,
Oh those “shoulds.” We all have so many of them. So much better to change it to “I would like to” or “I want to” or even “I intend to” but if it doesn’t happen now, maybe it will happen later.
We have to be easier on ourselves and also recognize our own strengths and assets more readily.
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Cuddling – Is it the Key to Long-Term Happy Relationships?
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July 25th, 2011 at 3:17 pm
I think I’ll print out the list and tape it up on the wall in our house. No question the others in this family should read it. Maybe if people weren’t so negative I could have half a chance to be successful myself. People in this family are so selfish! They should listen to my advice more (I’m a senior!) then maybe we wouldn’t all be in this mess. If they don’t read it, I spose that will be all I can do before someone cracks and next it’ll be me having a heart attack or my son-in-law going to jail again. So thanks for the list. Perhaps it’ll help others around here to make the changes I know they should make. On the other hand, I don’t know, maybe it’s all futile.
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
July 26th, 2011 at 1:07 am
Richard,
It sounds as if you have your hands full at home.
One thing I have learned, the hard way, is that you cannot expect or get anyone around you to change because you know they “should.” The only person you can change is yourself. So, read the list and help yourself to be more positive with productive thoughts – and that may actually rub off on your family members.
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Cuddling – Is it the Key to Long-Term Happy Relationships?
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July 28th, 2011 at 3:08 pm
Hey Dr Erica, did you know my ex-wife? If not, you have written an incredible article here which seems to be all about her.
Seriously though I like to think that I do not have any of those thoughts although there are a couple that I have to be very careful about.
It is strange that #7 and #8 seem to be exact opposites when written down and yet, your explanation of the challenge with both of them is excellent.
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
July 28th, 2011 at 5:23 pm
Trvor,
No, I did not know your ex-wife, but I have certainly known many people who could say “Yes” to most of these statements.
The issue of control, being controlled by others or feeling a need to control others and control all situations, is a huge stumbling block for many people. Ultimatey, we really do not have control. Just observe the natural disasters that occur or accidents that take the lives of people we love. All we can really control is our own attitudes and behaviors.
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Cuddling – Is it the Key to Long-Term Happy Relationships?
[Reply]
July 29th, 2011 at 1:03 am
This is certainly a powerful list of negative feelings and thought patterns. Thank you for making us aware of these — we would do well to be aware of when they pop up in our minds. I would add to that perfectionism — always feeling like one has to be the best at everything and never make mistakes, and self-pity — feeling that someone else got something that “you” deserved, and feeling like “nothing” good will ever happen to “you.” There are probably a lot more.
Pastor Sherry recently posted..Taking Your Thoughts Captive, Part 2
[Reply]
Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 29th, 2011 at 2:55 am
Pastor Sherry,
You are so right. There probably are a lot more negative thoughts that we can fill our minds with to interfere with our feeling happy and successful. Perfectionism and self-pity are certainly common. Everyone who really succeeds will admit, at some point, that he or she succeeded after, or even because of, having made many mistakes before.
DrErica
[Reply]
August 2nd, 2011 at 7:25 am
Hi Dr Erica, I have to admit that I used to feel like “many of the things on your list” about myself, years ago, before I was introduced to network marketing and personal growth. I have the networking industry to thank for me now feeling so good about myself!
And, I believe it can take a long time to get out of that way of thinking, once you get used to it! So, I’ve been doing a Neuro brain training course with John Assaraf, it’s really helping me to have a completely different mindset! Regards from Julieanne
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
August 2nd, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Julienne,
I have also developed a totally new mindset since becoming involved in the online world, not so much network marketing as success orientation. Although my emotions and moods do fluctuate, I keep myself on track more often than not, and I have the mindset to just keep moving forward. I wrote a chapter for a book that is coming out in the next week or two, featuring Jon Asaraf, Fred Alan Wolf and Brian Tracy. This is really exciting for me. It is called Adventures in Manifesting.
Erica
Erica
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August 14th, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Hi Erica,
Great post. Many of the points are commonly used my my clients. As a career coach I hear this every day. Discounting ones successes is what most people do from the start and then progress into all the other points. After discounting themselves and jobs don’t materialise most of the other elements crop up.
The hardest and most fun is really changing peoples outlook and attitude whilst keeping it real.
Well done bringing all these points nicely together.
Nik
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
August 14th, 2011 at 7:52 pm
Nik,
As a career coach you certainly have an important task. You can literally transform people’s lives, help them to believe in themselves and to honor those successes they have alreay had. I am certainly guilty of forgetting what I have already done, comparing it to the perceived successes of others, and then downplaying what I have accomplished. That is a big one to overcome for success in business.
Warmly,
Erica
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August 20th, 2011 at 5:50 pm
Erica,
great post. I majored in psychology at Princeton University and you know what, it doesn’t matter how many books on psychology you’ve read or how many courses you’ve taken, it’s still easy to let our mind fall into these bad cognitive ways of thinking and interpreting events and the world. All us of us need to be reminded to think about are thinking and the way we think, so this list and post is great. Thanks for the reminder, I needed it!
Sincerely,
Jupiter Jim
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
August 21st, 2011 at 4:02 am
Jupiter Jim
You bring up a really good point. It doesn’t matter how much education we have, it doesn’t matter how emotionally well balanced we appear to be, our mind can easily take over and repeat negative, self-defeating thoughts – if we allow it and don’t catch it.
Erica
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August 24th, 2011 at 2:48 am
I have had trouble with shoulds and all or nothing thinking. I know it has caused depression in the past.
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
August 26th, 2011 at 12:45 am
Melodie,
One of my favorite sayings is: Stop shoulding on yourself.
I have plenty of my own shoulds and expectations of perfection.
We have to always remember how special and unique each of us are and to focus on appreciating our own self.
Erica
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September 22nd, 2011 at 3:22 pm
Dr Erica
Your list is terrific. It is amazing how many of these on your list that we think about and do not realize the impact on our life. As you say in this post it is important to monitor what your are thinking. This proverb, “Above all else, guard your heart for it affects everything else you do.Proverbs 4:23”, reminds me how important its to monitor what I am thinking. I would suggest that people print this list and guard their heart from these thoughts.
Thanks
Perry A Davis Jr
Music City
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
September 23rd, 2011 at 4:08 am
Perry,
The two that seems to affect me and my clients the most are:
Shoulds – all the things you think you or others “should” do
Entitlement – feeling “entitled” to something rather than thinking they must make the effort to attain it.
Dr. Erica
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September 26th, 2011 at 7:15 pm
Great post! I have to admit I am not perfect!! Hehe I have experienced many of the above, but make a huge effort to develop those that help me have a more positive life experience. I used to be so good at naggin self doubt and negative thinking.. not that I have none now, but I sure have made some giant leaps in the positive direction! So glad I became aware of where I was going!
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
September 26th, 2011 at 11:13 pm
Holly,
The yogis and probably most spiritual teachers talk about our minds as the cause of so many problems. We need to gain control over our own minds rather than allowing the thoughts that flash through to take over. In our minds, we react to all sorts of stimuli. I find that surrounding myself with uplifting people, reading positive thinking blog posts and books, and attending success oriented events has been keeping my positive outlook so much stronger. I am glad you have become aware of your own thoughts.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
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