7 Simple Ways to Bring Romance Back Into Your Relationship

Can you easily and quickly bring romance back into your relationship?  Many people provide simple solutions to a complex situation.  There are many possible reasons for romance to fade away – and sometimes rather quickly.

Romantic Couple in RestaurantYou discover your partner’s deep dark secret and you find you are unable to recover from this

  • You or your partner has a history of trauma, physical or mental abuse and the affereffects are resurfacing
  • You chose this partner on the rebound when you had broken up with someone else who you really loved
  • Your love styles do not match and one pushes for intimacy (sexual or emotional) while the other  pulls away
  • You feel disappointed, hurt, betrayed, angry, frustrated at work, with your partner or with your life and lifestyle
  • Etc., etc., etc.

The first step is to examine what could be the real cause of the decline in romance with your partner.  If the love is still there and still strong, and neither of you wants to break up, then here are some suggestions for tactics that can bring both of you back into a romantic state of mind.

Romantic Couple in RestaurantSimple ways to bring romance back into your relationship by Guest Blogger Ivy Delfin

“Every couple experiences ups and downs in their relationship. And when you’ve been with the same person for many years, it’s inevitable that the excitement will subside and you’ll be intimate less frequently. The worst thing you can do about this, is to assume that there’s nothing that can be done. There are plenty of ways to bring romance back into a long-term relationship. You just have to make a few small changes. Here are some tips to reignite your love life.

1.      Take notice of your partner

When we know someone so intimately it’s easy to forget to ask about simple things like how their day was. Even if there’s nothing important to say, it’s still vital to share everyday things like this. It’s all about showing your partner that you care.


2.      Go on a couples retreat

Why not book a weekend retreat at a spa and wellness centre, such as Japanese Mountain Retreat. A change in surroundings can really set the scene for romance.


3.      Don’t rely on gifts

While every girl loves flowers and chocolate, if the only time they receive these gifts is in apology for doing something wrong, the relationship becomes transactional. By giving her these items, you’re shutting down any opportunity to address the real issue by talking about it. The next time you frustrate your partner, gift them your attention and save the flowers and chocolate for when they’ll really be a surprise.


4.      Touch each other

Physical contact is the best way to show intimacy. Simply holding your partner’s hand, playing with her hair or resting your hand on her leg will tell her that you enjoy her company. Just don’t create the expectation that every time you touch her it should lead to sex.


5.      Go on a date

Dates shouldn’t only be on special occasions. Go out more often and you’ll find the change in surroundings adds excitement and makes it much easier to talk. It doesn’t have to be somewhere expensive, just somewhere you haven’t been a thousand times before.


6.      Surprise your partner

Planning and organisation is the enemy of romance, to set your partner off, you need to bring some spontaneity back into your relationship. Surprise your loved one with tickets to a show or take her on a picnic.


7.      Take time apart

This may sound counterintuitive, but sometimes time apart is the healthiest way to rekindle a relationship. Give your partner the space to satisfy their hobbies and pass-times and after time apart, they won’t be able to wait until they’re back in your arms.”


Ivy Delfin is a blogger who loves to help people with relationship advice. She works in marketing for a tourism company.


17 thoughts on “7 Simple Ways to Bring Romance Back Into Your Relationship

  1. All of these are great advice. I’ve implemented some of this in previous relationships and it really helps. Dates… not as much as I would like to. I believe on my next relationship, I will… until then, I’ll have to take my son out for mommy/son dates to arcades, or skating or bowling rinks. :)
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  2. My partner has been waiting for surgery on his knee for months now which has limited his ability to get around. We normally do a lot together as we both work from home and for the most part we can arrange our timings, within school hours, to suit ourselves.

    I am missing getting out with him. Even short walks together or a trip to a cafe are good for us. At home we usually find separate activities to do that preoccupies us.
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  3. These are some great tips. I have put some of them to use in my current and past relationship. The past one was rather one-sided. I would strive in every way to show her that I loved her with all of my being in a non-sexual way, and she would shove me away. I would give her space, and she never appeared to miss me even for a second. My current partner, however, loves it every single time I go to kiss her on the hand or forehead, she enjoys being in my presence, and I in hers. This relationship has more love than I have ever experienced in my life. I have never felt more alive, than before now.
    Thanks for those insightful tips. Talking with your partner works better than any gift, that I know for a fact. Thanks.
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  4. What a wonderful post Dr. Erica! My husband and I keep the romance a live through weekly dates and daily walks together where we just catch up. Spending time (and making the time) to just enjoy one another is so incredibly important!

  5. Ashton,

    As much as we may try to please another person, it is essential to be truthful with yourself about what you want and need and whether that person is willing or able to give what you need. If not, it is best to leave and find someone else who suits your style better and appreciates you more. Seems that you have done exactly that and you are much happier now.


    Dr. Erica
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  6. Robert,

    When marriages last a long time, we can be comfortable and yet many of us forget to do those little extras that can make our partner so happy. When a relationship is new and exciting, we naturally do things to please, but why not continue to pay attention and surprise our partner?


    Dr. Erica

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