The 3 Causes of All Relationship Problems
Filed in Awakening Love, Communication, Healing, Love, Love, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality on Jan.22, 2012
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Recently I was interviewed on the blog talk radio show of Rebecca Anne LoCicero, one of my co-authors in Adventures in Manifesting: Success and Spirituality She asked me a question that I would like to ask You now.
What do YOU think are the 3 most important causes of all relationship problems?
- Are you currently struggling to make ends meet and you believe that if only you had more money?
- Is your partner so different from you that you wish you could meet someone more like you?
- Does low or high sexual desire or certain sexual behavior seem to be causing problems for you?
- Do you believe that if only you and your partner had better communication skills?
- Do you believe the problems are caused by some “bad” trait in your partner?
- Are the friends and family of your partner causing a rift between the two of you?
Please comment below and tell me what you think is the major cause of relationship problems?
Watch this video now and see if you agree with my answers.
Listen to this interview to find out what I believe can really shift your perspective. 3 Major Causes of Relationship Problems
Find out about my upcoming Complete Relationship System here.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
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January 22nd, 2012 at 6:23 am
I often read comments from people who’ve been married a long time and say their secret is the willingness to compromise. I agree somewhat, but I think it’s more complicated. I think the real problem is communication – people talking at each other rather than really communicating … not actively listening, making assumptions about how the other person feels for our own convenience … and one day we wake up and wonder who that person is next to us and how did we grow so far apart?
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
January 23rd, 2012 at 4:24 am
Marquita,
You have touched on something so important. That is why the very first thing to focus on is healing your relationship to yourself. Once you are centered within yourself and truly know who you are, then you are ready to be more fully present with someone else. Then you can pay attention and learn more about the other person which will naturally lead to more open and reciprocal communication.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Do You Feel As Good As You Look? by Guest Blogger Dr. Barbara Hales
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Steve-Personal Success Factors Reply:
January 27th, 2012 at 3:32 am
Dr. Erica, I so appreciate you focusing on this aspect. So many of us get so ‘busy’ because we are trying to avoid our own pain or brokenness. We need to have the courage to look at both our strengths and weaknesses, as well as to ask ourselves what we believe in and what we need, so that we can honor ourselves and others.
Steve-Personal Success Factors recently posted..10 Acts of Kindness To Change the World
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
January 27th, 2012 at 5:57 am
Steve,
You are so right. So many people focus on the other person, wanting and expecting someone else to fulfill their needs. We have to first understand our own wants and needs and flaws and fears and all of it. That’s when we can truly connect with another person in love.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Do You Feel As Good As You Look? by Guest Blogger Dr. Barbara Hales
January 24th, 2012 at 4:11 pm
Lack of communication is certainly one of the major problems but there are many other problems that could cause that.
2 of these problems is routine and having the other for granted, in my opinion these 2 are the major causes of relations problems…
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
January 25th, 2012 at 4:36 am
Kostas,
When we live in a state of gratitude, when we really appreciate this other person for sharing his or her life with us, and if both people feel that way, they are not upset by routine and they find ways to break out of the rut. But if each person is not pursuing their own dream, living their own passion and purpose, then it is difficult to appreciate the other person over tiem.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
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January 25th, 2012 at 5:28 am
My guess is Money and Sex – lack of both will cause problems in a relationship.
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
January 31st, 2012 at 4:09 am
Tim,
Although many couples struggle with either not enough, inability to handle it, or big differences in the way they approach it, lack of money and sex are not the biggest causes of relationship problems.
Many poor people have loving and happy relationships. Many couples that have not shared sexual intimacy for years are happy together.
It is not the amount of either that makes or breaks relationships, it is that each person is seeking something from the other person or from the outside world rather than seeking that something from within their own self.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
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January 27th, 2012 at 5:06 pm
I was talking with my husband last night about something similar. We were wondering about why couples seem to stop being as happy as they once were…Hugh and I are so blessed to have an awesome relationship and i would say that a lack of communication would probably seem to be the start of a lot of marital problems.
The key is to tune ourselves so we are able to vibrate at the same level!
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
January 27th, 2012 at 5:16 pm
Nathalie,
Seems that you are your husband have a true bond and friendship and love for each other.
I believe that the main reason communication becomes a problem in relationships is that each person does not really know, appreciate and fully accept his or her own self (needs, desires, capabilities, interests, values) and they don’t know, appreciate,understand and accept the other person. With true understanding and acceptance, it is so easy to discuss your needs and give and receive love freely.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
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February 1st, 2012 at 5:06 pm
Hi Erica
Thanks for this good blog i love the Question.
I think that people do not become really best friends before they move to the next level of there relationship , and that can be a problem if you are really best friend you can communicate far more better if you can communicate you can talk about Money and every thing that mite lead to problems in your Relationship.
regards
Theuns
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
February 2nd, 2012 at 3:51 am
Theuns,
Communication is really important in a relationship and it is most important to communicate with your own self. If you don’t understand your own needs, desires and wants, it is quite difficult to tell that to your partner. That is where the communication gets murky and one or the other feels misunderstood, not listened to, etc.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Do You Feel As Good As You Look? by Guest Blogger Dr. Barbara Hales
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February 2nd, 2012 at 8:42 pm
I am thinking that maybe a major cause of relationships issues is that one or maybe even both partners are missing something from their lives, and they know it. But they are expecting the other person to fill that empty spot.
I am not even sure it is an empty spot so much, that the person is pretending not to see what is really there in front of them. So many times it is as if other people can see our true selves more easily than we can.
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
February 2nd, 2012 at 10:48 pm
Michael,
You are so right. The very first thing to focus on is your own self, to discover what YOU really want, need and desire. Even though it often appears as if someone else, someone or something out there is creating our problems or discontent, but it always boils down to understanding our own self first. Once we gain that clarity we are in a much better positions to make decisions in alignment with our true purpose and desires.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
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February 3rd, 2012 at 1:47 am
Wow Dr. Erica,
I didn’t try to guess the 3 causes of relationship problems. Instead, I listened to your interview with Rebecca Anne and you are the bomb! Your background is extraordinary. Thanks for sharing the three causes of relationship problems. I’m not going to give anyone the answers. They need to listen to the interview! I was surprised and amazed by the answers! I really wish I had known this before I pursued my past relationships. If I had followed these guidelines, I am sure I would have been more successful in my relationships.
I loved your candid, profound, in-depth answers. Simply awesome!
I am currently doing the number one answer you described in the audio. I just moved from one state to another. I’m starting all over in many ways, and after listening to the interview I AM ON THE RIGHT TRACK! I can relate completely to what you talked about. This is very inspirational. Thank you so much.
Congratulations on your book, “Adventures in Manifesting” and I am very interested in your relationship system:)
Raena Lynn
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
February 3rd, 2012 at 1:57 am
Raena Lynn,
Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. It is exciting to move to a new city and have an opportunity to start all over, especially if you know what is most important for creating fantastic relationships. What I have learned from this online world is to give value first instead of expecting to receive first from others.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
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February 7th, 2012 at 4:00 pm
Hi Dr. Goodstone! What a great topic, one that comes up all the time. I would go with communication because the lack of just pulls both people apart. Sometimes it is difficult to do, but there is always a place to learn! Also Listening!! Active listening can sometimes be ignored, especially if you are used to that person. And I find that Expectation is a problem also. When someone Expects the other person to do or behave a certain way. That can also lead into trouble.
Bottom line: Relationships are so important. They need to be nurtured because that is the foundation of life. A problem can always be fixed, but when it cannot, people need to get out there and learn. Hey, they can start right here!
Blessings,
Donna
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
February 8th, 2012 at 3:59 am
Donna,
What thoughtful responses. The truth is that communication, active listening and allowing instead of expecting are all important components of healing relationships and creating intimacy. However, the main causes of relationship problems begins before you even get involved. First step is knowing and understanding your own self. Without that, nothing else will work.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
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February 14th, 2012 at 12:00 am
Dr. Erica,
I don’t think your system is working. I clicked on the link to watch the video to get the answer to the question. That was just a video telling me to click on the link below. There was no link below the video. So I logged in with my name and address and got access to another video. I started watching the video and it said “now that you’ve gotten your answer to the first question…” Well, I still haven’t been able to find the video with your answer to the question: what are the three causes of relationship problems.
Anyways, it is commonly known that money and sex are the two issues that husbands and wives fight and argue about, and that would seem like a logical guess to me.
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March 11th, 2012 at 11:20 am
This is so true. Communication between partners must be available. It’s really hard if both individuals are living without outlets. how can i find love
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March 12th, 2012 at 3:29 am
Thanks for sharing a very good explanation. This will be very helpful. how can i find love
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