Are You Ready to Leave The Nest?
Are you ready to leave the nest? Have you been settling into a life of less than satisfying comfort and less than optimal emotional, relational, financial and spiritual success?
What is a nest? The online Thesaurus offers these synonyms: shell, case, bubble, layer, coat. Are you hiding inside a shell or case of protection that you created? Are you living in your own mental bubble, unable to accept other realities? Are you wearing a coat of emotional armor to avoid pain and failure and loss of love?
For several weeks now I have had the privilege of sharing my home with a beautiful bird. In the small space between my bathroom window and the external hurricane shutter (that I have left halfway closed), a beautiful black bird had built a nest. I watched as she fluttered about, flying away and returning often with bits and pieces of twigs and probably some living bugs and worms.
Then the sweet, delicate chirping began. First I only heard one little chirp. Then I heard a few. Sweet chirping voices creating lovely melodies that warmed my heart each morning. But I could see no movement. So, I slowly opened the window part-way and observed a fluttering twig and two little beaks pointing upward.
Now the little ones have grown and I saw one fly out the window, fly back, and fly out again, practicing its flying skills. But there are two more little birds that have not ventured out yet. I seem mommy nudging them. I see them resisting, tentatively approaching the opening and then frantically returning to the very back, hidden corner of their little room.
Fear. I can almost feel their fear. And it is a very real fear. Several months back I saw 3 tiny little birds who had probably left their nest too soon and were lying lifeless on the ground below. For these birds, leaving the nest can be a matter of life or death.
For most of us humans, however, leaving the nest may not actually BE a life or death matter. But for many people, the fear is so strong that it feels like a potential death. Leaving the nest is an ending which can feel like death. It is an ending of an old way of being, and ending of total dependency, and ending of a closed and rigid mind, an ending of always having to be right, an ending of self-righteous judgement.
Leaving the nest can be a rebirth, a birth into a new life and a new way of being. A 20 something adult child still living at home has to, at some point, take that leap of faith and leave the nest to create his or her own life. A newlywed has to leave the nest of either their family of origin’s home and patterns or leave the nest of self-centered singlehood. An aging adult has to leave the nest of youthful beauty and strength, turning to inner wisdom, knowledge, patience and acceptance to thrive and enjoy the golden years. A fleldgling entrepeneur has to leave the nest, the comfort of the old ways, to develop business savvy and marketing skills that will bring the business to the next higher level of success.
Are you ready to leave the nest? Take the Create Healing And Love Now quiz to find out. http://www.CreateHealingAndLoveNow.com
![resized_birdsnest0001[1]](http://createhealingandlovenow.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/resized_birdsnest000111-297x300.jpg)








May 5th, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Erica,
What a timely post. This resonates with me. Leaving the comfort of the known for the unknown can stop a person right now! It’s been a few years since I was in that uncomfortable comfort zone. Glad I moved outward!
Love how you refer it to a rebirth into a new life & way of being. That is what it truly feel like.
Thanks for sharing this,
Val
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May 5th, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Beautiful analogy!
I do believe what makes us as humans ‘win’ is when we just decide. Decide not to lose. Decide to succeed. When we have that decision solid, nothing will deter us with the right action (leaping from the nest). The fear is never as real as we make it.
Thanks for sharing this!
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May 5th, 2010 at 9:10 pm
I agree. Making that decision to succeed is huge. I keep watching these little birds flap their wings, walk tentatively toward the opening, tweet and screech and hesitate. Then I check again and they have flown out but they keep returning for a few days, I guess, to gain confidence.
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May 6th, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Dr.Erica,
Leaving the nest can be a little scary, but I’ve done it many times and it has always resulted in a very rewarding and life enhancing outcome. Fear can be paralyzing, but the “not knowing” that comes from not even trying is much worse. I live a life outside of fear – and it has been (and will continue to be) a wonderful ride!!
Great post!
Krista
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May 6th, 2010 at 11:00 pm
Dr. Erica,
I love your story, and the analogy you’ve made between this form of literally “leaving the nest”, and the changes that we all face as we age and mature.
Personally I’m in the process of learning to fly in 2 important life experiences at the same time, those of stepping into a new era of life as I turn 50 this month, and of becoming a successful entrepreneur. Both are exciting and offer much to look forward to as I enter into yet another “life” within my life.
Thanks for this beautiful story, and for making it real!
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May 7th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Love it Erica! We all need to take the leap of faith and burst out of our egg into the life that is prepared for us to live. I am ready to spread my wings and fly. Glad to be on the journey with you.
Make it a great day!
God Bless,
-ed
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May 9th, 2010 at 11:35 pm
I really like this analogy. We all need to leap from that nest and take chances in life.Fear can hold us back but I am hoping I will throw that fear away for good. Thanks Erica for this post.
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May 10th, 2010 at 12:24 am
Thanks Ed and Beverly, I am learning to take fear by the hand and walk with it. But that fear does crop up from time to time. The trick is to not be paralyzed by fear, to just take that leap of faith and move forward anyway.
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May 11th, 2010 at 6:32 am
I love the way you took this real-live experience to use as a metaphor. It makes it so much more concrete and emotionally compelling. I’ll remember this every time I leave the nest (ah yes, we get to do it over and over again when we grow!)
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May 11th, 2010 at 10:15 am
This is a great post for me, especially since I have my last 20 year old at home right now. I’m not ready for her to leave the nest just yet, but I know that sometime that day is coming! Thanks for all the great information.
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May 12th, 2010 at 11:15 pm
Hi Erica,
This is an awesome analogy. What you call leaving the nest, I usually think of as getting out of my comfort zone. I let fear rule my life for too long. I am no longer letting that happen however, and my life has become so much more fulfilling. Thanks for sharing such great information.
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May 13th, 2010 at 6:05 am
Your lovely story about the little birds starting their own journey away from the nest inspired the thought of how we are all part of nature. We are nature and when we can stay connected energetically to life in all its forms, deeply knowing that we are made up of the same stuff as the trees and the birds, fear transforms and an other perspective opens from which to navigate from, interconnected and free to co-create what is next.
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May 13th, 2010 at 11:52 pm
Aline, I am fascinated by the way birds find a place to build a nest. They don’t live in fear and anxiety. They just locate a place, bring the twigs – a few at a time – and slowly build the nest. Now there is a new bird using the same nest. If I go to open the window, she flutters away instantly. They truly live in the moment, relaxed, comfortable – and ready to change course instantly if the situation changes. “We are nature” and satying connected energetcially to life in all its forms keeps us healthy, safe, comfortable and able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
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May 18th, 2010 at 2:52 am
Katana and Debbie, I just realized today that I had not responded to your lovely comments. Thanks for sharing.
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May 20th, 2010 at 12:46 am
Aw, this was a really quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this also – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and never seem to get anything done… Regards
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May 20th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
I am so grateful for your blog.Thanks Again. Keep writing.
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:18 pm
I admire the valuable info you offer inside your content articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and have my kids check up here often. I’m quite certain they will learn lots of new stuff here than anybody else!
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May 23rd, 2010 at 10:38 am
Excellent blog post, I look forward to reading more.
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May 25th, 2010 at 6:49 am
Howdy there,just identified your web-site when i google something and wonder what hosting do you use for your wordpress,the speed is more faster than my wordpress, i really need to know it.will back to check it out,i appreciate it!
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May 25th, 2010 at 6:59 pm
Hey this is a great story. I’m going to email this to my friends. I stumbled on this while surfing for some lyrics, I’ll be sure to visit regularly. thanks for sharing.
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May 28th, 2010 at 11:11 pm
Val, Krista and Kathy,
So sorry for the very long delay in responding to your comment on my post about leaving the nest. Today I discovered 45 comments in spam and yours were among those.
Val, I’m happy you have left that comfort zone awhile ago.
Kathy, You’ve left two comfort zones and keep moving forward.
And Krista, You seem to no longer worry about whether you are in the comfort zone. You’re just moving forward.
Thanks for sharing.
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May 28th, 2010 at 11:15 pm
Debbie S.,
So sorry for such a long delay in my response to your comments. Yours was among 45 comments I found today in spam.
Leaving the nest can mean so many things – letting go of fear, stepping out of your comfort zone into the unknown, or getting ready for your 20 year old to leave her nest, your nest, your home.
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May 28th, 2010 at 11:19 pm
Great post and information that I can use!
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May 28th, 2010 at 11:20 pm
Tanie,
Writing gets easier as you do it but it is not for everyone. I guess you have to find what is your passion, what really interests you – and then just do it.
Sorry my response is so late – yours was one of the comments I found in spam.
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May 28th, 2010 at 11:20 pm
Mickie,
Thanks for your supportive comment. Again, yours was one of the comments found in spam, so sorry it has taken me so long to respond.
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May 28th, 2010 at 11:22 pm
Atlanta Cheap Tickets (love your name),
Sorry I am responding so late, but your comment was in my spam.
I think that’s great that you want your kids to read my blog.
I will not be posting anything you would not want them to read.
My goal is to provide insight into healing through love.
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May 28th, 2010 at 11:23 pm
Discovery health medical aid,
Thanks for your supportive comments. Sorry my reponse was so delayed but your comment had gone into spam.
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May 28th, 2010 at 11:25 pm
Artie,
Sorry it took me so long to respond, but yours was one of the comments found in spam. As far as my hosting company, I do not want to post that in my blog. But if you are interested, please send me an email at DrErica@DrEricaWellness.com. Mention my blog in the subject, so the email does not go to spam.
(Leave the nest)
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May 28th, 2010 at 11:27 pm
Rihanna Rude Boy,
Thanks for your supportive comments. Sorry for the delay in responding. Found your comment in spam.
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May 28th, 2010 at 11:29 pm
Insanity DVD’s, Thanks for your support and for encouraging me to continue writing.
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May 29th, 2010 at 3:20 am
Very good information, thanks for sharing.
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May 30th, 2010 at 1:43 am
Derek,
Glad you liked it. Thanks for your support.
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June 1st, 2010 at 12:45 am
Fantastic info! I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks!
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June 1st, 2010 at 8:16 pm
Thanks Ruben, Glad you appreciate my blog.
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November 1st, 2010 at 7:58 am
This is the kind of thing I try to teach people. Can we count on a sequel?
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
November 1st, 2010 at 7:38 pm
Thanks for your comment. We do need to venture out on our own to achieve success in any aspect of our life.
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