YOU Make a Difference – Don’t Ever Forget That

Your Actions Don’t Really Matter, Do They?

 

IntegrityMattersDo you sometimes think that your actions don’t matter, that perhaps you are just part of a group and you will hardly be noticed.  Yes, sometimes in a very large group – at a conference or large event – you may be able to slip quietly away and not be noticed.  But if you are involved in a small group – a team, a group of co-workers, a gathering of friends or family – your actions and your behavior DO have an effect.

I have a strong work ethic and a very strong sense of personal responsibility and integrity.  However, I continue to discover that many individuals work hard when they see immediate personal gain but easily slack off after the initial excitement and enthusiasm wears off.  When they are excited about a new project or a new group, they will enthusiastically show up for the first session or two.  And then something inevitably happens.  An invitation, a higher than usual workload, a potential date or business prospect, and the former commitment is no longer considered.  In the moment it seems more beneficial to not honor the original agreement because this other event is now a higher priority.  After all, the reasoning goes, I am not the only person in the group so it won’t matter if I miss this one session.

 

Your Actions Do Matter

 

But it does matter.  It matters to the person organizing the group.  It matters to the other people who brush aside any conflicting responsibilities to keep their commitment to the group meeting.  And it lowers the interest, enthusiasm and connection you feel with that group.  Bonding occurs through consistent, ongoing connection.  Sporadic meetings, on again then off-again, lead to less trust, less interaction and less group cohesiveness.

How do you lead your life, day by day?  Do you want to have a positive impact on the people you know or do you just assume that people will forgive and forget?  Do you truly believe that you can make a commitment and honor it only if it is easy and does not conflict with any other desirable events or outcomes?  The next time you are about to renege on a promise, an agreement or a commitment, stop and take a moment to reflect on the possible ripple effects upon the other people involved.

 

Are You Living A Life of Integrity?  

 

Living a life of integrity is not easy.  It requires strength of character and determination that few people can maintain for very long.  I strongly encourage you to strive to become the person who says what you mean and means what you say, who does what you agree to do and does not do what you have promised not to do.  Greatness is revealed in small, ongoing acts of integrity in the midst of everyday, normal life experiences.

 

Talk to Me I can help you recognize and live the greatness that is YOU.

Tell me what you want and desire and need.  Leave a comment below and share this post if you have found value here.

Here’s to living your life in love

 

Warmly,

9f82

 

 

 

Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 28 – MISSION

Love in the Blizzard of Life - Creativity

Each of us has a MISSION, a goal and intention for our life, that provides for us a sense of value, well-being and importance.  When you know your life MISSION, then it becomes so easy to focus and create your heart’s desire in any area of your life.  All of your energy will be aligned toward achieving and attaining your desired goals.  Life seems to have no intrinsic meaning.  Each of us is born.  Each of us will die.  The meaning we give to our life is determined by us.  We decide upon that meaning.  We choose our own personal MISSION.

You may have a strong INCENTIVE, INTENTION,  PRESENT MOMENT awareness, DRIVE,  inner ARCHITECT,  PATIENCE, ability to SURRENDER,  COMMITMENT, TRUST, DISCERNMENT, PASSION, DESIRE,  CREATIVITY,  SENSUALITY, SEXUAL EXPRESSION, COMPASSION, and  COMMUNICATION. You PRACTICE relationships skills, you balance TOGETHERNESS and AUTONOMY,  your SENSITIVITY. UNDERSTANDING, RECEPTIVITY, FORGIVENESS, ACCEPTANCE, and EMPATHY may be flourishing.  You may know the PURPOSE for your relationship.  But does this relationship support your life MISSION and the legacy you want to leave for those who follow you?

Today’s question is:  Have you determined your own unique life MISSION and have you been living in accordance with what it will take to fulfill your MISSION?

  • Are your current activities and the people you spend time with supportive and aligned with your life MISSION?
  • Do you have an underlying desire to pursue something or someone completely different from your current direction?
  • Are your emotions calm and serene, balanced and at peace, because you KNOW you are following the path that stirs your passion and calls you to take action?

Ask yourself NOW: Have I discovered and am I living according to my own chosen life MISSION?

When the purpose for your business and personal relationships is aligned with your grander vision of your life’s MISSION, all the required tasks and sacrifices, education and stumbling blocks, emotional pain and intermittent struggle, will not deter you from seeking to reach your goals.  When you know your MISSION and are determined to leave your legacy, the universe seems to open its portals and success naturally pursues you.

Relationships are built upon the complexity and interactions among all the different possible qualities, both positive and negative, that we can bring.  Every quality is important, to some degree.  It is really the balance among all the different possibilities that can lead to joy and happiness or sadness and emotional devastation.

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

Find a Healing Book or Kindle Book

Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

 

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Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 27 – PURPOSE

Love in the Blizzard of Life - Creativity

Do you remember the original PURPOSE for your current business and personal relationships?  Did you begin in a state of neediness, seeing some quality in another person that could get you over some difficulty or struggle?  Have you progressed and are now feeling different yet you are still involved in the same relationships?

Knowing your original PURPOSE and your current PURPOSE for each relationship can result in your having to make some pretty strong decisions.  There may be some relationships that at one time had served you well but currently seem to diminish your passion and drive.  If your PURPOSE is clear, you can easily determine whether you are just in an emotional slump or if this relationship no longer serves you.

Consider the PURPOSE for your relationship.

Today’s question is:  What was the original PURPOSE for your current business or personal relationship and is that original PURPOSE still valid and appropriate?

  • Does the original PURPOSE for your relationship keep you devoted, dedicated and persistently focused on building, growing and achieving success?
  • Do you have a single-minded reason, that your rational mind approves of, to continue your commitment to this relationship?
  • Can you focus on a principle, an idea, a goal or a specific target that keeps you motivated and striving toward  success in this business or personal relationship?

Ask yourself NOW: How strong and clear is my PURPOSE for creating, maintaining and improving my business and personal relationships?

When you are clear about your PURPOSE, your reason, and your unique “WHY” for pursuing, establishing and nurturing specific relationships in your life, you will easily be able to access all of those other valuable emotional qualities.  When you know your PURPOSE, your fear, resistance, worry and apprehension will take a back seat to your determination, drive and persistence. 

Relationships are built upon the complexity and interactions among all the different possible qualities, both positive and negative, that we can bring.  Every quality is important, to some degree.  It is really the balance among all the different possibilities that can lead to joy and happiness or sadness and emotional devastation.

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

Find a Healing Book or Kindle Book

Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

 

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Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 8 – COMMITMENT

Love in the Blizzard of Life

COMMITMENT may be the most powerful aspect of building a lasting and successful relationship – with your intimate partner, with your business partner, and even with your own self.   But this is a quality that cannot be taken lightly.  If you make a COMMITMENT too soon, before you have established all the preceding qualities and before you feel emotionally ready,  all those wonderful qualities and attributes that you have developed will gradually erode.

Your INCENTIVE and INTENTION may be aligned.  You may often stay in the PRESENT MOMENT.  Your DRIVE and energy may be strong, you may be  the designer and ARCHITECT of your relationship, you may have learned how to SURRENDER,  and you may have  lots of PATIENCE.  There are many relationships that do include most of these qualities yet without the foundation of a real commitment, in the long run the other qualities will be eroded.

Today’s question is:  Are you ready, willing and able to make a COMMITMENT to this relationship to yourself or to another?

COMMITMENT involves doing what it takes no matter how you might feel in the current moment.  For example, you have made a commitment to study for a licensing exam and your friend invites you to a party.  Do you study or do you change your mind and just go have fun?  You’ve made a commitment to love and be faithful to one person.  And then somebody attractive flirts with you.  Do you allow the flirtation to build so that you cross the line or do you honor your commitment in the moment when you feel emotionally tempted?

  • Can I guarantee to myself and to others that I will stick to this agreement?
  • Do I pledge to keep my word and remain dedicated and devoted regardless of the momentary temptations?
  • Will I remain loyal, steadfast and faithful when difficulties arise and it might feel better to stray from my promise?

Ask yourself NOW:  Am I willing to make a solid commitment now to preserve the wonder and joy of this relationship even when my needs and expectations are temporarily not being satisfied?

COMMITMENT requires emotional strength and robust willpower to remain in place during challenges, frustrations and roadblocks.

 

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

Find a Healing Book or Kindle Book

Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com.

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

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Are YOU Giving the Most Love YOU Can Give – to YOU?

As we approach the most significant day of our lifetimes, 12/21/12, it is a time to reflect upon our life and decide if we are making the contribution we want to make. A precious friend of mine died, just a few weeks ago – right before Thanksgiving. We sat together at college graduation with our futures looming bright in front of us. Her passing has spurred me on to an even greater and stronger commitment to be my best, do my best and fearlessly give my love and share my accumulated wisdom with others.

And just this morning I received a letter addressed to me, in a familiar handwriting, my handwriting, written to me from me a year ago at a Women’s Prosperity Network event. I wrote such loving and uplifting words to myself and it felt wonderful to know that somebody thought that highly of me. Doesn’t matter at all that that person was me. Do yourself a favor and write a letter to YOU, seal it, and don’t open it until next year in December.

  • Are YOU being the best YOU that you know you can be?
  • Are YOU giving the most LOVE you know you can give?
  • Are YOU giving the most LOVE you can give TO YOU?
  • Are YOU willing to feel your fears and insecurities and just do it anyway?
  • Are YOU ready to think and become greater than your grandest vision of yourself?

And just this morning I received a letter addressed to me, in a familiar handwriting, my handwriting, written to me from me a year ago at a Women’s Prosperity Network event. I wrote such loving and uplifting words to myself and it felt wonderful to know that somebody thought that highly of me. Doesn’t matter at all that that person was me.

Do yourself a favor. Write a loving, appreciative, complimentary recommendation letter to YOU. Seal it. Don’t open it until next year on 12/21/13.

Watch this inspirational video to finish 2012 with a resounding YES to all the questions above. YOU and I and EVERYONE WE MEET have the potential to change lives and to change the world. It begins with a vision, trusting that it is possible, seeing the results of small actions, and continuing to take more and more small actions.

Make this coming year, 2013, the year you can truly say

I DID IT!

 

 

Create Healing and Love in YOUR Life NOW!

What Are YOU Waiting For?

 

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

The Power of We

Blogging Heroes

Blogging Heroes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As a member of The National Writers Union for many years, I have been aware of the problems experienced by educated, professional writers.  Many have been deprived of their contracted fees. Others have had their writing plagiarized or syndicated without their consent and without payment to the writer by unscrupulous publishers and authors.  But the Writers’ Union has done something about that.  Jointly, as a group, they have managed to fight for the rights of individual writers.  In the process, they have confronted some leading publishing house representatives and retrieved large sums of money for members who had been wronged.  Few writers can fight a big publishing house alone.  Together, huge companies have conceded and were forced to provide what had been promised.

As a sex therapist working in a solo private practice, many years ago I organized the Metropolitan New York area AASECT section.  A group of therapists, educators and researchers met regularly to share our insights and concerns.  At one of our local meetings we discovered that three of us had submitted papers to present at the National AASECT Conference and that all three had been rejected.  Together we created a mini-conference at the conference.  Forty people attended and all of us got to present our papers.  The following year, to our delight, all three of us were accepted onto the main conference program.  We discovered the power of “we.”  Alone, each of us had been pushed aside.  Together, the leaders took notice and obstacles were removed.

For the past few years, I have been involved with a wonderful local organization, The Women’s Prosperity Network, WPN.  Three ambitious and courageous sisters decided to make a difference in the lives of women.  Their goal has been to bring women together to support each other’s physical, emotional, career and financial well being.  Their  regular mastermind breakfasts and luncheons, evening networking events and yearly UnConference have enabled countless women to create new businesses, brand themselves, gain the confidence and skills required, and establish solid working relationships with other women and with men.  When someone puts on an event, they are no longer alone – there is a whole sisterhood cheering them on and assisting when needed.  When tragedy strikes, this wonderful group of women band together to raise money and do what is necessary to help out.  WPN has a special motto that says it all.  “We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.”

When I first began blogging in 2008, I know that some people did read my blogs because they contacted me and became clients.  However, I had very few comments and I did not have any sort of consistent following until I found out about blogging tribes.   I had the good fortune to get involved with a substantial group of bloggers, from many different industries and professions, in the Tribe Syndication Association.  By reading each other’s blogs each week and following the rules set up by the leaders, we established a large network of colleagues that we began to know, like and trust.  We share each other’s content across the internet.  We learn all sorts of tidbits of information about technology, marketing, love relationships, healing, nutrition, exI had the good fortune to get involved with a substantial group of bloggers, from many different industries and professions, in the Tribe Syndication Association.

Kimberly Castleberry has taken over the task of rejuvenating this blogging tribe, giving it a new name Biz Blogging Buzz (B3), and simplifying the process to make it more accessible for bloggers to utilize and connect with each other.  When bloggers work together with other dedicated bloggers, leaving uplifting and supportive comments and syndicating the blog posts on social media sites, each blog develops its own social proof.  The blog site is seen as valuable and the blogger is viewed as an expert in his or her niche.  People like to do business with someone who is successful.  They also need to know, like and trust the business owner.  When a new person arrives at a blog that is flowing with comments by people who obviously know the blogger, people from varying professions and from different locations around the world, that person is much more likely to like and trust the writer.  Business is just one click away as they eagerly sign up to receive the free report, newsletter, audio, webinar or whatever is presented as the ethical bribe.

If you have been hesitating about joining a blogging tribe or business blogging affiliation, then think again.  Check out some of the blogs in the B3 spreadsheet.  Notice how exciting it is to read a blog with so many enthusiastic comments.  Allow your mind to be stimulated by the wide variety of topics and the valuable insights and information provided.  None of us can create a successful business alone.  We need each other.  We need support, witnesses, validation, training, and real relationship building skills.  This process works if you do.  Sign into the spreadsheet, start commenting and syndicating, write a new blog post with valuable information each week, and watch your connections, your list, your confidence and your business grow in ways you could never have imagined.

You can’t build a business all alone and it is also difficult to build a great relationship alone.  Sometimes you need an outside, experienced professional who can provide a sense of normalcy and more netural, unbiased perspective to help you sort through the rough edges and trying moment.

My Healing Through Love Seminar Series will get you started on the path to creating more loving and fulfilling relationships with loved ones, business associates, family and friends.

Read a Healing Book, Healing EBook or Healing Kindle Book

Schedule a Session at DrEricaWellness.com

Thanks for stopping by.  I look forward to connecting with you again.  Please share your thoughts and reactions in the comments below.

Here’s to creating loving, caring, nurturing and truly win-win relationships  in your life.

Warmly,

Dr. Erica


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Love For Sale – Ready Or Not!

Love for Sale (Cecil Taylor album)

Love for Sale (Cecil Taylor album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you ever met someone who keeps telling you how wonderful they are, how caring and loving they are, and how much they give to others?  Sometimes their story is compelling, their words sound sincere, your mind accepts their promise and your gut tells you “No.” You may even feel guilty (he or she is doing so much or needs your business so badly), inadequate (you are being convinced that you will never succeed without this) or foolish (you’re missing a once in a lifetime opportunity) for not jumping at the current offer.

This often happens in business dealings.  The seller spots you as a potential buyer and lays it on thick, trying to convince you to trust and buy his or her products and services.  It also happens in relationships.  A man or woman wanting a relationship spots you as a potential friend, lover or spouse and lays it on thick, trying to convince you to like, love, or become a committed partner for him or her.

The businessman or businesswoman may barrage you with phone calls, emails, and pressure to close the deal.  The one wanting a relationship may barrage you with text messages, emails, phone calls, gifts, and pressure to schedule dates and make a commitment. When this happens, if you are like most of us, your instinct is to run away, to get as far away as you can so you can once again think clearly about what You want and need – not what They want you to do.

I do not want to “convince” anyone to do business with me, to be my friend, to like me or to love me.  What I seek in my life is true contact and connection with others.  I want to get to know someone gradually over time, discover together what fits and what doesn’t fit, and create a caring relationship that is mutually beneficial.

In business, I want a mutual exchange of best practices, personal and business experiences, products, services and trainings based upon real communication and knowing what each of us is struggling with at the moment.  In a relationship, I want an intimate exchange of likes and dislikes, personal interests and experiences, and possibly shared connections with others who might suit each of our specific needs at the moment.

In other words, I want to live my life as a consultant, providing my best business practices and products, my educated perspective and wisdom, my personal views and experiences, and deeply shared connections with people who are also consultants to me.  I cannot possibly know everything and do everything on my own.  I need help in so many different ways.  And so does everyone else.

Imagine doing business with a consultant who shares his or her best products and services and also freely shares about products and services offered by others that may be a specific benefit to you. Imagine being in a relationship with someone who shares his or her authentic self, freely offering to help in whatever way he or she can – and – totally allowing you to decide for yourself what You want to do.

If you are seeking that “one” special business partner, lover or friend, then become a consultant rather than attempting to sell yourself or your products upfront.  Offer value to others, share what you know, allow yourself to be seen as a step above others because you care and share and don’t even attempt to sell.  Stop selling and start consulting – really listen, show that you care and provide value.

Give the other person breathing room and an opportunity to discover what you have to offer after you have helped them to somewhat solve their problems.  Insure that the other person feels understood, respected, valued and appreciated by you before you ask what you want and expect something in return.  Become viewed as “the one” who is the solution to someone else’s problems and you will no longer have to sell them what you are offering.  They will eagerly seek you out.

And if you are seeking love, stop seeking and stop selling yourself.  Become a caring consultant and love will find you.

My Healing Through Love Seminar Series will get you started on the path to love.

Read a Healing Book, Healing EBook or Healing Kindle Book

Schedule a Session at DrEricaWellness.com

Thanks for stopping by.  I look forward to connecting with you again.  Please share your thoughts and reactions in the comments below.

Here’s to living your life in love.

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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