Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 30 – FLOW

Love in the Blizzard of Life - Creativity

I have discovered, for myself, that taking on a challenge gets my psychic and physical energy flowing and aligned. In other words, it puts me into the FLOW.  After 30 days of writing blog posts daily, I want to leave you with the most important aspect of any activity in your life.  If you are operating within this system, everything else seems to fall into place.  When you are in the FLOW, life is beautiful, every moment is an adventure to cherish, and every person is a symbol of God’s love.

Young children naturally function within the FLOW of their everyday activities.  When they get involved in an activity, they are totally present until something distracts them and then they become totally involved in a new activity.  When we are in the FLOW, time moves slowly and we are not impatient.  When we are in the FLOW of love, we are happy to allow the love to build, we enjoy the nuances of our shared experience and we express all those other wonderful qualities I have been talking about for 29 days.  When we are in relationship FLOW, each of us feels accepted, understood, appreciated, acknowledged, trusted and desired.  There is no craving or longing for something outside the relationship because we are able to express our full self and feel all of our feelings.

You may have a strong INCENTIVE, INTENTION,  PRESENT MOMENT awareness, DRIVE,  inner ARCHITECT,  PATIENCE, ability to SURRENDER,  COMMITMENT, TRUST, DISCERNMENT, PASSION, DESIRE,  CREATIVITY,  SENSUALITY, SEXUAL EXPRESSION, COMPASSION, and  COMMUNICATION. You PRACTICE relationships skills, you balance TOGETHERNESS and AUTONOMY,  your SENSITIVITY. UNDERSTANDING, RECEPTIVITY, FORGIVENESS, ACCEPTANCE, and EMPATHY may be flourishing.  You may know the PURPOSE for your relationship and your life MISSION. You may even have a sense of MASTERY of your relationships and your life.  If you have developed all of the above skills to an adequate (not perfect) level, then you will easily and often find yourself living in the FLOW, loving your life and loving your relationships.

Today’s question is:  How often and how easily do you find yourself living and loving in the FLOW?

  • Are you able to roll with the punches, take the path of least resistance, and enjoy drifting along within your relationships?
  • Can you set the course, ask for what you want, encourage others to express their needs and then creatively rise above the tide?
  • When you feel a surge of fear, discomfort, emotional uncertainty, disappointment even boredom, can you stay the course, ride the wave, and continue to more forward within your relationships?

Ask yourself NOW: Can I stay in the FLOW when I encounter the ups and downs and ins and outs of loving relationships in my life?

Being in the FLOW is what allows works of art to be created.  Being in the FLOW leads to marriage, business development, and success at all levels of human being.  Relationships are a work of art in progress.  The instrument through which we create this masterpiece is LOVE.   With interest, determination, study and practice we CAN develop all the necessary skills and emotional overtones to build exquisite relationships filled with love.  Are YOU ready to develop MASTERY and get into the FLOW?

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Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

 

 

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Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 27 – PURPOSE

Love in the Blizzard of Life - Creativity

Do you remember the original PURPOSE for your current business and personal relationships?  Did you begin in a state of neediness, seeing some quality in another person that could get you over some difficulty or struggle?  Have you progressed and are now feeling different yet you are still involved in the same relationships?

Knowing your original PURPOSE and your current PURPOSE for each relationship can result in your having to make some pretty strong decisions.  There may be some relationships that at one time had served you well but currently seem to diminish your passion and drive.  If your PURPOSE is clear, you can easily determine whether you are just in an emotional slump or if this relationship no longer serves you.

Consider the PURPOSE for your relationship.

Today’s question is:  What was the original PURPOSE for your current business or personal relationship and is that original PURPOSE still valid and appropriate?

  • Does the original PURPOSE for your relationship keep you devoted, dedicated and persistently focused on building, growing and achieving success?
  • Do you have a single-minded reason, that your rational mind approves of, to continue your commitment to this relationship?
  • Can you focus on a principle, an idea, a goal or a specific target that keeps you motivated and striving toward  success in this business or personal relationship?

Ask yourself NOW: How strong and clear is my PURPOSE for creating, maintaining and improving my business and personal relationships?

When you are clear about your PURPOSE, your reason, and your unique “WHY” for pursuing, establishing and nurturing specific relationships in your life, you will easily be able to access all of those other valuable emotional qualities.  When you know your PURPOSE, your fear, resistance, worry and apprehension will take a back seat to your determination, drive and persistence. 

Relationships are built upon the complexity and interactions among all the different possible qualities, both positive and negative, that we can bring.  Every quality is important, to some degree.  It is really the balance among all the different possibilities that can lead to joy and happiness or sadness and emotional devastation.

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

Find a Healing Book or Kindle Book

Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

 

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Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 25 – ACCEPTANCE

Love in the Blizzard of Life - Creativity

ACCEPTANCE  is the quality most us are seeking to receive and longing to feel in all of our relationships.  The opposite, rejection or dismissal, can be the most painful and self-demeaning experiences in our lives.  When we feel put down, ignored, invalidated or unnoticed, our world as we know it can collapse.  It doesn’t matter if we are the most intelligent, most attractive, most talented, best performing athlete, highest paid speaker, most accurate scientist, or most sensitive lover, our sense of ACCEPTANCE can greatly influence the way we view our self, our life, and our actual performance.

You may have a strong INCENTIVE, INTENTION,  PRESENT MOMENT awareness, DRIVE,  inner ARCHITECT,  PATIENCE, ability to SURRENDER,  COMMITMENT, TRUST, DISCERNMENT, PASSION, DESIRE,  CREATIVITY,  SENSUALITY, SEXUAL EXPRESSION, COMPASSION, and  COMMUNICATION. You PRACTICE relationships skills, you balance TOGETHERNESS and AUTONOMY,  your SENSITIVITY. UNDERSTANDING, RECEPTIVITY and FORGIVENESS are readily apparent.  But are you able to allow full ACCEPTANCE of your relationship exactly the way it is at the current moment without feeling the pressure to deny, suppress or change something immediately.

Today’s question is:  How strong is your emotional capacity for full and unswerving ACCEPTANCE of the current reality in your business, professional, and personal relationships?

  • Are you able to receive the gifts that others are willing and able to give, even if they fall far short of your desires and expectations?
  • Can you tolerate differences of opinion, lifestyle, values, behaviors and attitudes and even acquiesce in support of another person’s agenda?
  • Can you freely recognize, acknowledge, and approve of others even when their beliefs and actions directly conflict with your own?

Ask yourself NOW: How easily and readily can I allow ACCEPTANCE to overrule my need to be right, my desire to make changes, and my fear that I am losing control in a relationship?

ACCEPTANCE may be the glue that holds a relationship together.  After many years of shared space at home or in a work environment, ACCEPTANCE of each others temperament, needs, and style of behaving can lessen the stress and expand the love.  Love and ACCEPTANCE is the honey that soothes old wounds, bridges gaps in communication, and feeds the process of bonding in any relationship.

Relationships are built upon the complexity and interactions among all the different possible qualities, both positive and negative, that we can bring.  Every quality is important, to some degree.  It is really the balance among all the different possibilities that can lead to joy and happiness or sadness and emotional devastation.

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

Find a Healing Book or Kindle Book

Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

Love in the Blizzard of LIfe – Day 24 – FORGIVENESS

Love in the Blizzard of Life - Creativity

FORGIVENESS is not a one-time event.  When we get involved in a relationship, any relationship which involves closeness, shared activities, and dual responsibility, our emotions will sometimes be aroused and not in the way we want and expect.  When the other person upsets us, treats us unfairly, fails to keep promises and commitments, or blindsides us in some reprehensible way, to maintain the relationship we will have to practice FORGIVENESS.

The New Testament of the bible states that we need to forgive “70X7.”  It does not tell us to forgive once and then walk away.  It does not tell us to forgive and expect the other person to instantly discontinue their wayward activities.  No, the bible reminds us to keep forgiving and even to “turn the other cheek.”  We are also told that “the meek shall inherit the earth.”

Does this mean that we owe it to other people to become a perpetual doormat?  No.  There is a deeper meaning to FORGIVENESS.  What I like to use as a metaphor is a person who is a Black Belt in Karate or a master at Tai Chi or some other martial art.  When a student reaches a high level of mastery in a fighting sport, that person knows how to instantly kill another person.  Knowing that bring a powerful responsibility.  A martial arts master will not seek a fight, will not provoke a fight, and will willingly turn the other cheek and forgive 70X7.  However, if the danger or provocation by the other becomes too great, the master may just point a finger with total clarity and intensity of focus, and the other person will either go flying or will be struck dead.

So here you are.  You have established your INCENTIVE, INTENTION,  PRESENT MOMENT awareness, DRIVE,  inner ARCHITECT,  PATIENCE, ability to SURRENDER,  COMMITMENT, TRUST, DISCERNMENT, PASSION, DESIRE,  CREATIVITY,  SENSUALITY, SEXUAL EXPRESSION, COMPASSION, and  COMMUNICATION. You PRACTICE relationships skills, you balance TOGETHERNESS and AUTONOMY,  your SENSITIVITY. UNDERSTANDING and RECEPTIVITY are strong.  But what happens when another person does you wrong, hurts you, disappoints you, abuses you or betrays your trust and love?

Today’s question is:  How strong is your willingness to allow FORGIVENESS to rule in all situations in your life – maybe not in the exact moment of emotional devastation – but as you develop greater understanding and wisdom?

  • Are you able to readily forgive another person for wrongdoing without holding on to blame and criticism, judgement and ruthless distancing?
  • Can you absolve yourself or someone else from guilt and blame, showing mercy and tolerance, even if  the remorse and regret is not as strong as expected?
  • Do you understand, pardon, feel compassion and even pity for the other person, knowing that if someone feels loved they do not need to hurt others?

Ask yourself NOW: How easily and readily am I able to practice FORGIVENESS of myself first and then all others with whom I am in even a momentary relationship?

FORGIVENESS  is powerful.  It frees up our energy, allowing our mind to focus on what we choose in the present moment.  Without FORGIVENESS, our mind loops back over and over ruminating about someone or something that has not pleased us.  And then our emotions kick in and we feel upset, disgruntled, frustrated, angry and whatever else gets stirred up in our consciousness.  As we allow FORGIVENESS to enter our consciousness, we are instantly soothing our body, relaxing our thinking process and bringing our mind, mind and spirit into balanced equilibrium.

Relationships are built upon the complexity and interactions among all the different possible qualities, both positive and negative, that we can bring.  Every quality is important, to some degree.  It is really the balance among all the different possibilities that can lead to joy and happiness or sadness and emotional devastation.

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

Find a Healing Book or Kindle Book

Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 12 – DESIRE

Love in the Blizzard of Life

DESIRE is such a powerful, and often underestimate, force that can literally stimulate, transform or destroy a relationship.  If you make a decision to lose weight but you don’t really have a strong DESIRE, guess what?  You will probably not be able to lose it and if you do, it will probably only be temporary.  But if your DESIRE to win the heart of that person you are yearning for, you will find a way to lose that weight.  So, if your DESIRE to create a romantic, passionate and loving relationship is that strong you will find a way to make it so.

You may have INCENTIVE, INTENTION,  PRESENT MOMENT awareness, DRIVE, your inner ARCHITECT ability to SURRENDER,  PATIENCE, COMMITMENT, TRUST, DISCERNMENT and PASSION.  But do you have a strong enough DESIRE to withstand life’s ups and down and daily interpersonal stresses?

Today’s question is:  Does your level of DESIRE leave you up at night craving, dreaming about and longing to meet someone special or to create your ideal relationship with someone you already know?

 

  • Do you wish you had a magic wand that you could wave at someone to make them fall in love with you?
  • Do you need someone or something so much that your mind is filled with longing that cannot be fulfilled anywhere else?
  • Are you willing to ask and request, beg and plead, implore and insist that you require this person or thing to enjoy your life?

Ask yourself NOW: Is my DESIRE so strong and intense that I am willing to do anything, get down on my knees to beg if that was required, because I feel that I need this relationship or thing to be successful in my life?

DESIRE has been the impetus and quality used by inventors, artists, business people, parents and lovers to successfully create their dream.  And – DESIRE has been the downfall, the demise of people who will step outside their integrity and morals to attain the object of their desires.

Relationships are built upon the complexity and interactions among all the different possible qualities, both positive and negative, that we can bring.  Every quality is important, to some degree.  It is really the balance among all the different possibilities that can lead to joy and happiness or sadness and emotional devastation.

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

Find a Healing Book or Kindle Book

Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

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Ho’oponopono for Creating Joyful and Lasting Love

Cover of "Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiia...

Cover via Amazon

This week I was reminded of  Ho’oponopono, a powerful yet very simple Hawaiin process for clearing limited beliefs, unproductive programming, and emotional upsets stored in memory.   In a beautifully written blog post, Yorinda Wanner  introduces this powerful work with 2 very special and unique videos.  One video shows Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len teaching the  4 part process as an Inner Child Meditation in such a gentle and profound way. The other video provides images and music to enhance the process.  Yorinda offers her own interpretation and simplified understanding.  She also references the book, Zero Limits, by Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len which explains the process of Ho’oponopono in greater detail.

I would like to apply this 4 step process to healing and enhancing love in your most intimate relationships.  Here are the 4 short and easy to remember statements.

  • I am sorry.
  • Please forgive me.
  • I love you.
  • Thank you.

Simple, right?  Well, not quite so simple.  There is a certain way to approach using these 4 statements and the approach, attitude and repetition is what creates the powerful and enduring effect of the Ho’oponopono process.

Dr. Len uses the following sequence in his video for you to speak to and connect with your own subconscious mind, your own inner child, the one who holds all the memories, the one who “holds the mortgage” on your emotional life.

Watch Dr. Len’s video about Ho’oponopono Inner Child Meditation

Imagine now that you are treating your most intimate partner as if he or she is your own inner child, needing to hear from YOU these words of acknowledgement:

  • thanking him or her just for existing and for being part of you now
  • declaring your sincere and absolute enduring and unending love
  • expressing that you are truly sorry for the pain the other person feels
  • asking for forgiveness for any way you may have added to the hurt and pain
  • repeating many times: “I love you.”

Try this process with your most intimate partner – or – face yourself in a mirror and repeat the process directly with yourself as if YOU were your own most significant lover.

“For the first time in creation I am acknowledging your presence in me.”  Dr. Len is talking about the presence of your own subconscious mind within you being acknowledged by your own conscious mind.  But what if you are acknowledging the presence of your loved one inside of you?

Follow that acknowledgement by saying: “I love you.”  Acknowledge all the hurts and pain that are stored within the mind (the subconscious mind) of your loved one and sincerely say “I’m sorry.  Please forgive me for all the accumulated memories that you experience as sorrow, as grieving, as pain.”
“You’re talking to this other person, acknowledging your own responsibility and all of the woes that the other person has that you have created, accepted and accumulated and that you would like to have it undone.  Always ask the other person for permission.  Please allow me to stroke the top of your head with love and concern.”

Now say to the other person “I love you. Please forgive me for all of the accumulated woes that you  now have stored in you. I am sorry.”  You can teach this “child,” this person, how to do clear their thoughts and memories.  But if you have not been acknowledging, accepting and loving this person or really caring for him or her, the other person will not be able to let go of the stored memories.

Stroking this person’s head, say  “I love you.  Thank you for being part of me.  And I’m sorry if I have been neglectful, if I have not taken good care of you. I’m sorry.”

Ask the other person for permission, if it is okay to hug him or her gently.  “Please allow me to hug you.  Thank you for being part of me.  I love you.  And I’m sorry for all accumulated memories that you experience as pain and suffering.  Please, please forgive me.”

Ask the other person to give you his or her hand. Ask: “Please give me your hand so I can stroke it gently.”  Reach for the hand. Grasp it gently.  Gently stroking it, say: “Thank you for being part of me.  A part I have not paid much attention to.  And I am sorry. Please forgive me.  I love you.”

Imagine providing such loving, accepting, caring, gentle, acknowledging words and actions for your intimate partner.  With tender loving intimate concern, just think how our relationships could blossom and thrive.

If this process seems to hokey or too mechanistic for you, then try imagining this in your mind, expressing those thoughts and feelings toward your partner – even if you don’t’ actually say the words out loud.  Imagine truly feeling sorry when you partner is suffering, rather than being a bit annoyed, impatient or condescending.

Please share your thoughts and reactions to using these powerful words and tender actions with someone you love.

Here’s to creating joyful and loving relationships in your life.

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Warmly,

 

Dr. Erica

 

In the Eye of the Storm

Image of the Frankenstorm Sandy
Surrounding Lady Liberty, NYC, 10/29/12.
Photo posted on Facebook by Jason Otts.

They knew the storm was coming.   They braced for it, expecting the worst yet hoping the warnings were exaggerated.  The tension rose, frenzied residents usurped all the supplies they could gather to prepare for the unknown and wait, anxiously, glued to the TV and online weather reports.  They had seen many powerful hurricanes, one only a few months earlier, Katrina, which had devastated New Orleans and surrounding states.  But now they were bracing for Wilma.  And she surprised South Florida with huge winds, furniture flying out of high rise windows, roofs literally blown off and laying on the ground below.  The winds of this storm let 98% of South Florida without power, hundreds of damaged homes with damage reaching $20.6 billion, and 5 people dead.  According to Wikipedia, this was “the fourth costliest tropical cyclone in United States history.”

Residents of the northern states smugly reassured themselves that they were happy to remain up north.  Business in South Florida was really depleted during that winter season as it had been the year before when hurricane Frances had hit.  One day, after the storm had subsided, I sat at one of my favorite restaurants on the ocean, JB’s, and wrote  my poem: In the Eye of the Storm. 

Yesterday, I attended a special NANOWRIMO kick off party, celebrating the start of a month long contest to write a complete novel of at least 50,000 words.  Today, as I watched the news of the huge “Frankenstorm Hurricane/Noreaster Sandy” plunder its way up the northeasten seaboard, I recalled the poem I had written and chose my poem as the tentative title of my yet unwritten novel.  I would like to share it with you here.

Please think beyond a physical weather storm to every stormy event, stormy emotion, stormy situation, stormy memory and stormy regret in your life.  Remember what it feels like to be in the eye of the storm, survive and eventually thrive.

In the Eye of the Storm

I knew it was coming

I prepared myself

I braced my body

And I waited …

My mind was racing

What will I do …?

Where will I go …?

Who will be there …?

It began mildly enough

Angry outbursts of hot air

Faster, louder, stronger

Then the pounding …

Relentless screeching sounds

Raging out of control

Shaking up the roots of

My fragile security …

In the eye of the storm

Normal existence ceases

I wait and watch and observe

Unseen forces seen.

© 2005 Erica Goodstone, Ph.D.

 

You don’t have to struggle to endure the storms of life alone.   I can help you brace yourself, build yourself up, and come through the storm feeling stronger, more vibrant and alive and ready to enjoy the rest of your life.

 

My Healing Through Love Seminar Series will get you started on the path to creating more loving and fulfilling relationships with loved ones, business associates, family and friends.

Read a Healing Book, Healing EBook or Healing Kindle Book

Schedule a Session at DrEricaWellness.com

 

Here’s to creating loving, caring, nurturing and truly win-win relationships  in your life.

 

Warmly,

 

Dr. Erica