Stop the dating cycle and finally get a commitment

Are you or someone you know struggling with dating, finding men who seem to be “the one” and then disappoint you within a few weeks or months? Maybe you have been blindly opening your heart and believing that the other person feels the same way. Maybe you just don’t know what to look for, what to expect and what to walk away from.

Your Love Location Map

 

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Love For Sale – Ready Or Not!

Love for Sale (Cecil Taylor album)

Love for Sale (Cecil Taylor album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you ever met someone who keeps telling you how wonderful they are, how caring and loving they are, and how much they give to others?  Sometimes their story is compelling, their words sound sincere, your mind accepts their promise and your gut tells you “No.” You may even feel guilty (he or she is doing so much or needs your business so badly), inadequate (you are being convinced that you will never succeed without this) or foolish (you’re missing a once in a lifetime opportunity) for not jumping at the current offer.

This often happens in business dealings.  The seller spots you as a potential buyer and lays it on thick, trying to convince you to trust and buy his or her products and services.  It also happens in relationships.  A man or woman wanting a relationship spots you as a potential friend, lover or spouse and lays it on thick, trying to convince you to like, love, or become a committed partner for him or her.

The businessman or businesswoman may barrage you with phone calls, emails, and pressure to close the deal.  The one wanting a relationship may barrage you with text messages, emails, phone calls, gifts, and pressure to schedule dates and make a commitment. When this happens, if you are like most of us, your instinct is to run away, to get as far away as you can so you can once again think clearly about what You want and need – not what They want you to do.

I do not want to “convince” anyone to do business with me, to be my friend, to like me or to love me.  What I seek in my life is true contact and connection with others.  I want to get to know someone gradually over time, discover together what fits and what doesn’t fit, and create a caring relationship that is mutually beneficial.

In business, I want a mutual exchange of best practices, personal and business experiences, products, services and trainings based upon real communication and knowing what each of us is struggling with at the moment.  In a relationship, I want an intimate exchange of likes and dislikes, personal interests and experiences, and possibly shared connections with others who might suit each of our specific needs at the moment.

In other words, I want to live my life as a consultant, providing my best business practices and products, my educated perspective and wisdom, my personal views and experiences, and deeply shared connections with people who are also consultants to me.  I cannot possibly know everything and do everything on my own.  I need help in so many different ways.  And so does everyone else.

Imagine doing business with a consultant who shares his or her best products and services and also freely shares about products and services offered by others that may be a specific benefit to you. Imagine being in a relationship with someone who shares his or her authentic self, freely offering to help in whatever way he or she can – and – totally allowing you to decide for yourself what You want to do.

If you are seeking that “one” special business partner, lover or friend, then become a consultant rather than attempting to sell yourself or your products upfront.  Offer value to others, share what you know, allow yourself to be seen as a step above others because you care and share and don’t even attempt to sell.  Stop selling and start consulting – really listen, show that you care and provide value.

Give the other person breathing room and an opportunity to discover what you have to offer after you have helped them to somewhat solve their problems.  Insure that the other person feels understood, respected, valued and appreciated by you before you ask what you want and expect something in return.  Become viewed as “the one” who is the solution to someone else’s problems and you will no longer have to sell them what you are offering.  They will eagerly seek you out.

And if you are seeking love, stop seeking and stop selling yourself.  Become a caring consultant and love will find you.

My Healing Through Love Seminar Series will get you started on the path to love.

Read a Healing Book, Healing EBook or Healing Kindle Book

Schedule a Session at DrEricaWellness.com

Thanks for stopping by.  I look forward to connecting with you again.  Please share your thoughts and reactions in the comments below.

Here’s to living your life in love.

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Cache Dump – How to Lose Large Sums of Money, Love and Self-Esteem Instantly

Throwing Money Away

Throwing Money Away (Photo credit: Tax Credits)

 

Have you ever seen a sign like this on your computer?  “Cache Dump”  This morning, I turned my computer on as usual.  It started up. I heard that familiar Windows startup sound.  My beautiful background image appeared on the screen.  And then that dreaded black screen appeared with the following words: CACHE DUMP!  Given my experiences in the last few days, I just burst out laughing and I will explain why.

 

According to Wikipedia, the definition of “cache” in computer language is “a collection of data duplicating original values stored elsewhere on a computer.”  On this particular Monday morning I had just recuperated from a powerful 3 day marketing seminar featuring leading marketing and sales professionals, each one pitching their up sell mentoring packages.  Having filled out a form about my current business situation, I was targeted as someone who just might benefit from some high level coaching that was being offered.  And, given the atmosphere of success orientation and collaboration with just the right people who might be able to help, my mind was quite open and receptive.

 

At one point, I was invited out of my seat in the middle of one of the keynote speakers to have a private coaching session.  Asked some basic questions, I shared what my experience has been with coaches.  I have worked with some very successful marketers and coaches already.  At this point, I could use some assistance to deal with my phone calls, my social media, and most of all setting up and implementing a technology and email marketing system and funnel that works.  I am not seeking additional guidance about how to think, what next steps to take, etc.  But for a reasonable price, I would be open to a few hours of targeted coaching to implement what I intend to do.

 

Since the energy and the terminology of this marketing weekend was to say “Yes,” I needed to gather all the support I could find for me to have the strength, courage and lack of guilt to say “NO.”  When asked what makes the financial expert Warren Buffet so successful, I heard it said:  “He says “No” to more things than anybody else.”

 

The coaching  program I was not looking for, seeking or wanting, offered me only one high ticket package with 3 payment options.  The coaching sales person assigned to me was good!  The night after speaking with him I actually checked my credit card balances and almost considered his offer.  Luckily, however, I spoke to just the right people who helped me to think clearly.  Now I am $10,000 richer.  See how easy it is to make money!

 

On Sunday night I went to sleep relieved and feeling abundant.   The following morning, Monday, I had a really healthy leisurely breakfast and took that 20 step commute to my computer five minutes before my regular mastermind Skype call (with 3 women who took the same 9 month mentoring program 4 years ago).  I put the computer on, entered my password, heard the Windows log in sound, saw the background screen and then a black screen saying “Cache Dump.”

 

I laughed when I read the word “Cache” which sounds like “Cash.”  The computer was telling me I had almost made a huge (for me) cash dump, taking valuable money and putting it into something I already had – duplicating what I have already experienced and learned many times over.  The general meaning of Cache, according to Wikipedia, is hoarding.

  • I do not need to hoard coaching information.
  • I do not need to duplicate what I already know.
  • I don’t need to give my power away to let someone else tell me not to trust my own intuition and to do what that person thinks I need to do next.

 

Then I started thinking how else I may have taken a cache dump.

  • How often have I allowed my valuable, precious, positive thoughts to be dumped and replaced with old familiar negative thoughts?
  • How often have I allowed my own sensitivity to be devalued and dumped by myself or others?
  • How often have I allowed my loving intentions and collaborative efforts to be dumped by someone who ignores fariness and reciprocity in favor of their own personal agenda?
  • How often have I allowed my loving spirit to be dumped  by someone who invalidates me and flaunts their materialistic values?

My friend gave a fitting label to this type of marketing:  Predatory Marketing – Lacking Sensitivity to Individualized Needs.

 

What is YOUR marketing style when seeking more business, when looking for a love partner, or in the pursuit of fame, fortune, health and happiness?

  • Are you blinded by your own needs and desires and personal greed or are you ready and willing to accept the fact that not everyone needs what you have to offer and not right now?
  • If you are madly in love with someone who does not currently want or need YOU, then are you willing to let that person go?
  • If you want to meet your own financial quota and you see a good prospect in front of you who is NOT interested in doing business with you now, are you willing to accept that person’s right to make their own decision in their own way?
  • If your child is not following your way of doing things are you willing to let your child make his or her own choices and decisions?

I love my computer.  This morning that cache dump was the best message I have ever received.  And I will never forget that.

Are YOU ready to make a cache dump in your life, letting go of duplication of old ways of thinking and old ways of giving your power away?

My Healing Through Love Seminar Series will get you started on the path to love.

Read a Healing Book, Healing EBook or Healing Kindle Book

Schedule a Session at DrEricaWellness.com

Thanks for stopping by.  I look forward to connecting with you again.  Please share your thoughts and reactions in the comments below.

Here’s to living your life in love.

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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