Love for Sale (Cecil Taylor album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Have you ever met someone who keeps telling you how wonderful they are, how caring and loving they are, and how much they give to others? Sometimes their story is compelling, their words sound sincere, your mind accepts their promise and your gut tells you “No.” You may even feel guilty (he or she is doing so much or needs your business so badly), inadequate (you are being convinced that you will never succeed without this) or foolish (you’re missing a once in a lifetime opportunity) for not jumping at the current offer.
This often happens in business dealings. The seller spots you as a potential buyer and lays it on thick, trying to convince you to trust and buy his or her products and services. It also happens in relationships. A man or woman wanting a relationship spots you as a potential friend, lover or spouse and lays it on thick, trying to convince you to like, love, or become a committed partner for him or her.
The businessman or businesswoman may barrage you with phone calls, emails, and pressure to close the deal. The one wanting a relationship may barrage you with text messages, emails, phone calls, gifts, and pressure to schedule dates and make a commitment. When this happens, if you are like most of us, your instinct is to run away, to get as far away as you can so you can once again think clearly about what You want and need – not what They want you to do.
I do not want to “convince” anyone to do business with me, to be my friend, to like me or to love me. What I seek in my life is true contact and connection with others. I want to get to know someone gradually over time, discover together what fits and what doesn’t fit, and create a caring relationship that is mutually beneficial.
In business, I want a mutual exchange of best practices, personal and business experiences, products, services and trainings based upon real communication and knowing what each of us is struggling with at the moment. In a relationship, I want an intimate exchange of likes and dislikes, personal interests and experiences, and possibly shared connections with others who might suit each of our specific needs at the moment.
In other words, I want to live my life as a consultant, providing my best business practices and products, my educated perspective and wisdom, my personal views and experiences, and deeply shared connections with people who are also consultants to me. I cannot possibly know everything and do everything on my own. I need help in so many different ways. And so does everyone else.
Imagine doing business with a consultant who shares his or her best products and services and also freely shares about products and services offered by others that may be a specific benefit to you. Imagine being in a relationship with someone who shares his or her authentic self, freely offering to help in whatever way he or she can – and – totally allowing you to decide for yourself what You want to do.
If you are seeking that “one” special business partner, lover or friend, then become a consultant rather than attempting to sell yourself or your products upfront. Offer value to others, share what you know, allow yourself to be seen as a step above others because you care and share and don’t even attempt to sell. Stop selling and start consulting – really listen, show that you care and provide value.
Give the other person breathing room and an opportunity to discover what you have to offer after you have helped them to somewhat solve their problems. Insure that the other person feels understood, respected, valued and appreciated by you before you ask what you want and expect something in return. Become viewed as “the one” who is the solution to someone else’s problems and you will no longer have to sell them what you are offering. They will eagerly seek you out.
And if you are seeking love, stop seeking and stop selling yourself. Become a caring consultant and love will find you.
My Healing Through Love Seminar Series will get you started on the path to love.
Read a Healing Book, Healing EBook or Healing Kindle Book
Schedule a Session at DrEricaWellness.com
Thanks for stopping by. I look forward to connecting with you again. Please share your thoughts and reactions in the comments below.
Here’s to living your life in love.