Untying The Knot

Many marriages start with high hopes, passion and dreams of a fulfilling life together. But so many people are unprepared emotionally and financially for the struggles, frustrations and disappointments that inevitably follow when the honeymoon period ends. Continue reading

One Moment in Time

Have you ever experienced a precious moment, or series of moments, when you felt pure and sweet love for another person – a moment captured in your memory but gone from sight forever?  Several years ago I wrote a poignant poem about a love of years gone by, someone who filled my heart with joy and helped me to live in the moment.  When we were together there was no past and no future, only the present moment. His face lit up when I came into view and I could sit quietly in his presence, just waiting and feeling totally content. Continue reading

Love is Ending – Divorce is Near

Thinking About Divorce and Don't Know How?

Thinking About Divorce and Don’t Know How?

 

Spring is here.  Love is in the air.  Romance is blooming.  Couples are meeting, smiling, holding hands and loving each other.

 

Unless … they feel as if they’ve had enough, they’re angry, they’re bored, they’ve lost interest, they feel betrayed, or they just want a change.  Divorce is not my favorite topic.  When I work with couples, my goal is always to help them re-evaluate the relationship, strengthen their own inner love, and share that love with each other.  Very often, a minor shift in attitude and perspective can help two people get back to feeling the love they once felt for each other.  And sometimes, one or both partners have given up and have decided to end the marriage.

A while back, I wrote a blog to help you think about how you really feel and some of the choices available to you.  Separation or Divorce – Which is Right for YOU?

 

This week I received a link to an article that offers some of the nitty gritty facts you might need to know, all in one place, to help you decide how to proceed if you are seriously considering separation and divorce.  20 of the Best Blogs to Read before Filing for Divorce

 

However, before you leap into the unknown and regret your decision, please consider spending a few sessions in counseling.  You have invested time, money, love and your commitment to share your life with this one other person.  Isn’t your relationship and your investment worth spending a little more time to get clear about what you both feel, what you both need, and how to proceed in the best way possible?

Heal Through Love NOWDON’T WAIT.

 

Talk to Me

 

Warmly,

 

Dr. Erica

 

 

A Message from Men to Women

On my mastermind call this morning, one of my colleagues told me about a powerful video that I am impelled to share with you.  So many women have been living lives of quiet desperation.  If they have followed the model set before them by their ancestors, they will strive to be “good” wives, “good” mothers, “good” employees. 

Those who stray from the “normal” “good girl” attitudes, actions and behaviors are often made to feel inadequate, unworthy, shameful, and bad.  Outwardly, they may display an air of defiance, but inwardly they feel ashamed of themselves for being different.

In my work with couples, I see this same theme emerging over and over.  The man just does not understand the many ways in which he is invalidating, suppressing, diminishing and hurting the woman he claims to love.  As he puts her down, he turns his gaze toward other women, thinking the grass is greener as he sees these warm, interested eyes of women he does not know focused on him as a desirable object.

Watch this video of two men making a profound and heartfelt apology to the women in this world.  Please share your thoughts and feelings and responses in the comment section below.

Dear Woman

Get my FREE REPORT Successful Relationships or a private consultation at Here’s to living your dreams and sharing the love, at DrEricaWellness.com

Here’s to living your dream and sharing the love.


Dr. Erica

Lessons in forgiveness from Elizabeth Edwards

Elizabeth Edwards and her family

(Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)

Elegance is a quality that emerges from forgiveness. Peace of mind, love and enjoyment of life also emerge from forgiveness.

Elizabeth Edwards stood by her husband during both of his campaign attempts to secure a position in the White House. During the last few days of his vice presidential campaign, she received the dreaded diagnosis of breast cancer. Elizabeth supported her husband’s next bid for office despite her ailing body but he lost the Democratic nomination to Barack Obama.

When she knew her end was near, (it was reported that the cancer had spread to her liver this past Monday), she wrote a note on Facebook explaining, she has “been sustained throughout my life by three saving graces – my family, my friends, and a faith in the power of resilience and hope.” She goes on to say “the days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered.” And then she adds, “It isn’t possible to put into words the love and gratitude I feel towards everyone who has and continues to support and inspire me every day.”

Are you appreciating your family, friends and harboring a sense of hope, resilience and gratitude? If not, what is stopping you?

Elizabeth Edwards has certainly endured her own share of suffering. Her beloved husband, the man she stood by and encouraged for so many years, fathered a child with another woman. It doesn’t get much more painful than that. And then she had to stand proud, facing the press and all those embarrassing and humiliating questions and comments.

Elizabeth Edwards showed her elegance through a quality of enduring strength, resilience and forgiveness. In her final hours, she shared those moments with her husband, John Edwards, her three children, her sibling and some friends. She apparently had found the strength within to forgive her husband for his indiscretions and to include him in her final moments of love.

When someone we love is dying, all we can feel is the love that has always been present. Her strength and resilience is an inspiration to all of us. Find a way to feel the love NOW!

Call me. Schedule a private phone session, even the same day. Don’t struggle with hurt and upset feelings all alone. I can help.
Go to http://www.DrEricaWellness.com, Appointment Request, describe your current situation and tell me when you would like an appointment.  My regular fees apply.

Separation or Divorce – Which is Right for YOU?

Photo by Sharon Goodyear

Separation … Divorce … Lawyers … Legal Battles … Financial Stress … Infidelilty … Love Gone Wrong

To Divorce or Separate: The Experts Weigh In   My blog post today was inspired by this recent article from the Huffington Post with a few quotes by my colleague and friend, Dr. Adam Sheck.    The article was spawned by the news that Couteney Cox and David Arquette are separating, not divorcing, after 11 years of marriage. 

The public has gotten used to celebrity split ups, but usually there is so much drama, somebody doing somebody else “wrong,” somebody blatantly cheating, somebody requiring inpatient rehab for substance abuse or sexual philandering, or for being physically abusive.  We tend to have difficulty dealing with the gray areas.  We want it all to be put into a simple framework so that in our own lives we can know with some certainty what we would need to do in similar circumstances.

Relationships do not always fit into nice neat boxes and definite patterns.  In previous generations there were some standard rules and roles for marriage.  The man had the role of provider and the woman had the role of housekeeper, childbearer and homemaker.  Each knew their role and lived together, often in a state of “quiet desperation.” 

Times are different now.  Roles are not so clearly defined.  Women have found their comfort in the work place as well as at home.  Women are no longer just living their lives through their children.  Women are pursuing their own unique goals and dreams.  And men are often enticed by blatant sexual ads, porn sites, social media connections, and invitations to join their friends at Exotic Dance Clubs

Intimate relationships usually begin with physical attraction.  Then two people become sexually and emotionally connected and form a bond.  When they choose to marry, they often have a deliberate purpose in mind.  Perhaps they want to create a family.  Perhaps they want to build a business and have another person to do it with and for.  Perhaps they want to have the experience of being intimate.

But living together with another person, day in and day out, with all the details of life, can pay a toll on any intimate relationship.  Dealing with financial, emotional, sexual, spiritual, mental, and creative needs and demands as well as responding to the influences of often well-meaning family, friends, colleagues and the media, can definitely influence, affect and destroy even the most intimate relationship.

Many of us were never given the tools or the training required to muster through the difficult times, to hold a vision of what we truly want in a relationship, and to love and receive love.  The easy solution is to divorce and move on.  Separation can be more difficult because we don’t have that sense of finality.  Staying in the limbo of separation can give couples the space they need to heal their own selves and enough closeness to remain connected.  The love can be rekindled over time.  Or, with enough time and space, they can freely decide that the relationship is best severed.

Are you struggling with a decision:  Should I stay, should I go, should we separate, or should I file for divorce now?  Stop worrying and contact me now for a private, personal appointment.  Let me help you think more clearly and decide what to do.   http://www.DrEricaWellness.com

My colleague, friend and superb relationship coach, Colette Kenney reminded me of  this poem by one of my favorite poets, Kahlil Gibran.  If you follow what he is saying, it won’t really matter if you spend time apart from you partner.  That could be just the “winds of heaven dancing between you.

 

Marriage

You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore.

You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. 

But let there be spaces in your togetherness. 

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. 

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

— Khalil Gibran