This week I was reminded of Ho’oponopono, a powerful yet very simple Hawaiin process for clearing limited beliefs, unproductive programming, and emotional upsets stored in memory. In a beautifully written blog post, Yorinda Wanner introduces this powerful work with 2 very special and unique videos. One video shows Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len teaching the 4 part process as an Inner Child Meditation in such a gentle and profound way. The other video provides images and music to enhance the process. Yorinda offers her own interpretation and simplified understanding. She also references the book, Zero Limits, by Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len which explains the process of Ho’oponopono in greater detail.
I would like to apply this 4 step process to healing and enhancing love in your most intimate relationships. Here are the 4 short and easy to remember statements.
- I am sorry.
- Please forgive me.
- I love you.
- Thank you.
Simple, right? Well, not quite so simple. There is a certain way to approach using these 4 statements and the approach, attitude and repetition is what creates the powerful and enduring effect of the Ho’oponopono process.
Dr. Len uses the following sequence in his video for you to speak to and connect with your own subconscious mind, your own inner child, the one who holds all the memories, the one who “holds the mortgage” on your emotional life.
Watch Dr. Len’s video about Ho’oponopono Inner Child Meditation
Imagine now that you are treating your most intimate partner as if he or she is your own inner child, needing to hear from YOU these words of acknowledgement:
- thanking him or her just for existing and for being part of you now
- declaring your sincere and absolute enduring and unending love
- expressing that you are truly sorry for the pain the other person feels
- asking for forgiveness for any way you may have added to the hurt and pain
- repeating many times: “I love you.”
Try this process with your most intimate partner – or – face yourself in a mirror and repeat the process directly with yourself as if YOU were your own most significant lover.
“For the first time in creation I am acknowledging your presence in me.” Dr. Len is talking about the presence of your own subconscious mind within you being acknowledged by your own conscious mind. But what if you are acknowledging the presence of your loved one inside of you?
Follow that acknowledgement by saying: “I love you.” Acknowledge all the hurts and pain that are stored within the mind (the subconscious mind) of your loved one and sincerely say “I’m sorry. Please forgive me for all the accumulated memories that you experience as sorrow, as grieving, as pain.”
“You’re talking to this other person, acknowledging your own responsibility and all of the woes that the other person has that you have created, accepted and accumulated and that you would like to have it undone. Always ask the other person for permission. Please allow me to stroke the top of your head with love and concern.”
Now say to the other person “I love you. Please forgive me for all of the accumulated woes that you now have stored in you. I am sorry.” You can teach this “child,” this person, how to do clear their thoughts and memories. But if you have not been acknowledging, accepting and loving this person or really caring for him or her, the other person will not be able to let go of the stored memories.
Stroking this person’s head, say “I love you. Thank you for being part of me. And I’m sorry if I have been neglectful, if I have not taken good care of you. I’m sorry.”
Ask the other person for permission, if it is okay to hug him or her gently. “Please allow me to hug you. Thank you for being part of me. I love you. And I’m sorry for all accumulated memories that you experience as pain and suffering. Please, please forgive me.”
Ask the other person to give you his or her hand. Ask: “Please give me your hand so I can stroke it gently.” Reach for the hand. Grasp it gently. Gently stroking it, say: “Thank you for being part of me. A part I have not paid much attention to. And I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you.”
Imagine providing such loving, accepting, caring, gentle, acknowledging words and actions for your intimate partner. With tender loving intimate concern, just think how our relationships could blossom and thrive.
If this process seems to hokey or too mechanistic for you, then try imagining this in your mind, expressing those thoughts and feelings toward your partner – even if you don’t’ actually say the words out loud. Imagine truly feeling sorry when you partner is suffering, rather than being a bit annoyed, impatient or condescending.
Please share your thoughts and reactions to using these powerful words and tender actions with someone you love.
Here’s to creating joyful and loving relationships in your life.
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