Love Begins….
You meet someone who sparks your interest and causes your heart to flutter. You begin a new job with a sense of excitement and dreams of grandeur. You enroll in a new program to begin studying your chosen academic or technical career. You just discovered that you or your partner is pregnant. You start a new business project with enthusiasm, energy and a sense of adventure.
Every beginning is exciting, invigorating, even thrilling. Every beginning brings hope and energy, focused attention, special meaning and desire to overcome any form of adversity. Every beginning offers the hope that this time you will succeed, you will achieve your goals and live your dreams.
Beginnings are usually wonderful. Our body is pumped up with hormones, naturally produced drugs that keep our energy high and our mood elevated. No need for stimulating drugs when we are high on love for a new person, new place or new activity.
But beginnings are just that, beginnings. The energetic high, the hope, the thrill, the excitement, the wonder and the focused attention usually do not last. Reality, real life, sets in. While in the throes of our own excitement, we may have overlooked some important red flags. As the hormone highs diminish, we are left with the hard work of real life – studying, working, sometimes tedious drudgery, difficult communication, delays, frustrations, challenges, and lots of unmet needs.
The best time to step back and evaluate where you are going is NOT when your energy begins to wane and your excitement has diminished. The best time to evaluate, take stock, and set your goals is before you even begin. Once you begin, once the hormones are flowing, your cerebral cortex (the part of your brain that controls your conscious thought) can be temporarily incapable of making accurate evaluations.
“Love is blind” is not just a saying. Love can truly interfere with rational decision making. AMP Up Your Relationship, a special 3 module teleseminar series, begins with some very real facts about what happens to your body in the throes of “falling in love,” and why it is so difficult to make wise choices in this beginning phase. For this special teleseminar series, as a Healing Through Love Mentor I have joined forces with a Divorce Mediator. As we take you through the stages of relationships, you will view your own choices and your current relationship in a new way. This small shift in your perception and attitude can produce huge and lasting changes in your relationship and your life.
Get more information and listen to the replay of the introductory call at http://www.ASKDrE.com/replay.php
Dr. Erica
Author of Love Me, Touch Me, Heal Me: The Path to Physical, Emotional, Sexual and Spiritual Reawakening
August 26th, 2010 at 11:55 pm
so true dr erica! after several bummer relationships in my 20s (that i was SURE were gonna be long term, lol!) i remember telling myself “the next time you think you’re in love… you’re not!”
ahhhh…. your class should be taught in high school!!!
can’t wait to catch your seminar series dr erica =)
Melissa McCloud recently posted..Wasting Your Life In Second Life
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 2:24 am
Melissa, Thanks for your support. Just imagine if we all learned the truth about relationships early on. As I’m writing this I realize it is really something most of us just have to experience on our own.
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August 27th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Erica,
I am glad your around and writing such wonderful information here at your blog. This post hit home with me and probably everyone else that reads it.
Just like you say, when the relationship starts its all full speed ahead and mistakes are made by both parties and often things are over looked that could have long lasting effects on many people.
Not only can it effect the two main people in the relationship but also family and friends of the new couple long term. But as we all know so often love is blind and as humans we all screw up and make bad choices from time to time.
What is important is learning from our mistakes and mis-judgements and try not to repeat them in your future.
Keep your thoughts and wisdom coming. We all need it!
Wishing you all my best
Larry Bilich recently posted..Article Marketing Strategies That Will Get You More Traffic
[Reply]
Dr. Goodstone Reply:
August 27th, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Larry, Thank you so much for your supportive comments. You are so right – we all make bad choices sometimes and it is important to learn from our mistakes. That is why we can’t just teach everyone how to have great relationships. They have to screw up and suffer a bit, perhaps, before they are ready to learn how to choose a partner and “be” in relationship.
Warmly,
DrErica
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