Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 17 – COMMUNICATION
COMMUNICATION, the Big C, can literally make or break a relationship. Our thoughts cannot easily be read by others, even though they feel and respond to the energy we are emanating based upon our thoughts and feelings. But each person interprets energy and internal sensations according to their own concepts and beliefs. That is why meeting a new person can be so exciting and unnerving, because we do not know what they are thinking and feeling. We only know the way our own body is responding and we know our own self-created version of what another person may be experiencing.
Are you able to easily and consistently share COMMUNICATION that expresses what you currently think and feel and at the same time encourages and enables full disclosure and cooperation from others?
You may now have the INCENTIVE, INTENTION, PRESENT MOMENT awareness, DRIVE, inner ARCHITECT, PATIENCE, ability to SURRENDER, COMMITMENT, TRUST, DISCERNMENT, PASSION, DESIRE, CREATIVITY, SENSUALITY, and even your full SEXUAL EXPRESSION and COMPASSION for others. But how good is your COMMUNICATION when any one of these attributes within yourself or another person is being challenged, frustrated, suppressed or denied?
Today’s question is: Can you engage in consistent, ongoing and clear COMMUNICATION that allows you to fully express your wants and needs and desires and at the same time encourages and supports the full expression of the expectations and requirements of others? And can you remain in a calm, loving and peaceful state of mind when hearing words you do not want to hear?
- How clearly and precisely do you share your thoughts and emotions, concerns and acknowledgements with others?
- Are your interactions more like consultation, dialogue and free exchange of ideas or monologues during which you are persuading, convincing, and even demanding your per-determined responses from others?
- Do you show others that you are interested in them and that you by responding quickly to their COMMUNICATION attempts and by reaching out often to connect with them?
Ask yourself NOW: Does my COMMUNICATION with others indicate that I am concerned, interested and caring about them or do i tend to communicate when I expect to receive something or get my own needs met?
COMMUNICATION is occurring all the time. We cannot NOT communicate. If we do not send a text, make a phone call or connect in some3 way with another person who is expecting to hear from us, then we are communicating that we do not care that much. If we do not share our needs and desires with the people we live with, work with or spend time with, we are communicating to them that either we don’t have those needs and desires or satisfying them does not matter that much to us.
COMMUNICATION of our wants and needs, intentions and plans, and overall values in life CAN cause us to lose friendships, perhaps lose a job, a client or a customer, but without communicating we begin to lose a sense of our own self. Without communicating, we suppress our own integrity, motivation and determination to follow our dreams.
Relationships are built upon the complexity and interactions among all the different possible qualities, both positive and negative, that we can bring. Every quality is important, to some degree. It is really the balance among all the different possibilities that can lead to joy and happiness or sadness and emotional devastation.
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Warmly,
Dr. Erica
January 21st, 2013 at 1:17 am
Communication to me is the basis of a relationship. Without proper communication, we are in for a roller coaster ride.
There is an old song “It’s not what you say, it’s the way that you say it” and I am always mindful of that.
Because I have been through 40 weeks of Diadactial Behavior Therapy, I have learned so much about communication. It was like a boot camp of communication for me. One method I love to use is “Calm Voice”
If I encounter someone that is angry, or confrontational, I use a calm voice to disperse the situation. It can happen on line in a grocery store or taking to a family member. But it works like a charm.
As far as relationships go, I’m pretty much an open book with expressing my feelings. When I first met my husband, he spoke only in a rational way. It was confusing to me. So I kept saying to him “What do you feel?” After about 20 times, I got the answer.
Until this day it sometimes happens and when I ask him “what do you feel” we laugh and it is easier for him to express his feelings.
Communication is the bonding of relationships.
Donna
Donna Merrill recently posted..The Voice Of Freedom – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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Dr. Erica Goodstone Reply:
January 21st, 2013 at 10:30 am
Donna,
You are so right about “calm voice.” A long time ago, I was on a date and we were confronted with a gun. The man I was with was a Buddhist and in a calm voice he kept saying “You have our money. You can leave>” or something like that. And then suddenly, as quickly as these 2 men had appeared, they quickly ran away. To this day, I am so grateful that my companion had spoken in such a calm voice.
Warmly,
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 17 – COMMUNICATION
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