Relaxation Techniques – The Rubenfeld Synergy Method of Talk and Touch
Learning how to relax, being able to easily let go of emotional upsets and body tensions, is an important skill to have in this increasingly stressful world we live in. But how do we learn to relax? Relaxation methods, including thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors, can help us to overcome our own stress response, thereby relieving physical and emotional problems.
We can learn how to slow and deepen our breathing, lower our own blood pressure, increase blood flow to our muscles, reduce muscle tension and even eliminate chronic pain. Relaxation techniques can also help our mental abilities, improving our concentration, reducing negative emotions such as anger, sadness and frustration, and improve our confidence and ability to handle difficulties and problems.
There are many different relaxation techniques that will help us to reduce stress and train our mind and body to relax. We can focus on deep breathing, progressive relaxation, tensing and relaxing body parts, guided imagery, visualization, biofeedback, exercise, yoga, and even tai chi.
Another very powerful relaxation technique is receiving touch, a gentle hand on our shoulder or the touch of a skilled body therapy practitioner. Massage therapy, acupuncture, acupressure, Feldenkrais, Alexander technique, Reiki, Polarity Therapy and many other touch therapies offer different relaxation techniques.
One method, the one I have studied and practice for over two decades combines, for me, the best of so many other methods. The Rubenfeld Synergy Method of talk and touch provides a powerful holistic approach to relaxation of the mind and body and spirit, teaching clients numerous relaxation techniques during each session.
The non-invasive, non-threatening, gentle touch provided by a Rubenfeld Synergist encourages the client to use their own resources, to tap into their own relaxation techniques. As the Rubenfeld Synergist guides a client’s body to let go of habitual tension, the client’s mind focuses on thoughts, images and possible meanings connected to specific body tensions. The client is guided to explore the thought, clarify the image and discover new ways of perceiving currently problematic experiences. Relaxation techniques include gentle touch to help the body relax, empathic words to encourage self-acceptance, guided imagery and visualization to help the client discover new meanings for familiar circumstances.
Touch is a relaxation technique that is often overlooked. But a moment of sincere and gentle touch is all it takes for a receptive client to instantly access their own relaxation techniques and instantly let go of chronic tension patterns. As the body tension releases, the mind is free to explore new possibilities for relaxation and stress management. Relaxation techniques are a fundamental ingredient in every session provided by a Certified Rubenfeld Synergist.
Have you been touched today? I have heard that we need at least 5 hugs a day for health. Are you aware of possible emotional meanings for those persistent aches and pains in your body? Want to find out more, http://www.Rubenfeld Synergy.com or contact me at DrErica@DrEricaWellness.com.








July 5th, 2010 at 10:40 pm
Hi Erica,
I thought this was a great post on relaxation. I am the classic Type A, overachiever personality and find that I struggle with relaxing. Interestingly enough, reading your post made me aware and I found myself relaxing. Look how good you are – you made me relax through your writing. Well done!
Debbie Stevens recently posted..Courage and Confidence The Rest of the Story
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July 5th, 2010 at 11:07 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Karin Boode, Debbie Stevens. Debbie Stevens said: http://createhealingandlovenow.com/blog/relaxation-techniques-the-rubenfeld-synergy-method-of-talk-and-touch/ via @DrErica [...]
July 6th, 2010 at 12:39 am
I think we all need a reminder to relax ourselves every now and then. I’m interested to know more about controlling chronic pain with relaxation.
Wendy Hewlett
Wendy Hewlett recently posted..Damaging Misconceptions in Network Marketing
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 8th, 2010 at 12:43 am
Wendy,
Often when we feel pain in one body part, the origin and source is actually somewhere else. When we receive touch, massage or some other style of touch, we begin to feel in our body all those other places that we didn’t realize were connected to the pain we were feeling. When you get to the source and improve the blood flow and flexibility, often the pain dissipates.
But another aspect, equally important, is the emotions connected to that particular pain in that specific body part. E.g., when our shoulders hurt, we may be feeling that we are shouldering, taking on, too much responsibility. When our back hurts, we may be feeling unsupported, locked into a position with our back against the wall. When our knees hurt, we may we wanting to get out of a situation that we feel stuck in. When our neck hurts, there may be one or more people that we feel are a pain in the neck.
Our body responds to our thoughts and emotions in amazing ways. Sometimes a body ache is just that, a result of some physical injury, stress or disease process. Often, body aches result from unresolved emotional issues.
Erica
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July 6th, 2010 at 1:33 am
Debbie, I’m so happy that my just writing about relaxation reminded you to relax. What’s interesting about this post is that I recently became Marketing Chair of the International Association of Rubenfeld Synergists. My first and important task to assist with getting the blog going on their web site. So I had been asked to write a keyword rich piece and I selected “relaxation techniques.” I do not usually write such keyword dense posts, but it was fun to do – and I am happy to hear that it actually affected you.
Erica
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July 6th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Erica,
Your post reminded me that I often don’t take enough time to relax…but reading your post makes me want to stop working right now and go get a massage! That sounds like a really great idea at the moment…..hmmmmmm……..
Thanks for the gentle nudge!
Robin
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 7th, 2010 at 12:07 am
So Robin,
Did you stop what you were doing and actually go to get a massage?
Erica
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July 6th, 2010 at 3:06 pm
I appreciated the reminder of the power of touch, and the importance of relaxation. I have been meaning to book a massage for awhile. I just emailed a massage therapist I know to book an appointment! It’s been about 4 years since my last massage, so I’m due.
Thanks too for sharing about a technique that sounds powerful, but that I hadn’t heard of before now. Are Rubenfeld Synergists widely available?
Thanks for nurturing me with your work!
Jacqueilne Green recently posted..How to Set Your Family up for a Great Weekend or Summer Day
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 7th, 2010 at 12:10 am
Jacqueline,
Good for you, scheduling an appointment. It is so important to receive touch. Massage helps you to notice the tight and congested spots in your body and to get the circulation moving freely again.
Certified Rubenfeld Synergists work in many different states in the U.S. as well as Canada. You can find out more at http://www.RubenfeldSynergy.com.
Erica
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July 6th, 2010 at 3:59 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jacqueline R. Green , Jacqueline R. Green . Jacqueline R. Green said: This blog post by a friend about relaxation techniques prompted me to book a massage! Thanks @DrErica http://goo.gl/iILC [...]
July 6th, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Hi Erica,
What a great reminder to slow down and take time to smell the roses! Thank you for this. I’ve always heard that having pets is super beneficial to one’s health as well. Do you suppose that may be in part because they are providing that power of touch?
Linnea recently posted..Niche Marketing
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 8th, 2010 at 12:38 am
Linnea,
You have it right. Studies at the Touch Research Institute have found that touching, petting your pet helps to lower stress, lower blood pressure, improve emotional state and all sorts of other body benefits.
Erica
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July 6th, 2010 at 6:33 pm
Dr. Erica,
Thank you very much for sharing this post. So many times in this fast pace world we don’t take the time to relax and get in touch with our inner self. I am a true case in point. Always going, always doing something, helping others before helping myself and the list goes on and on…
Maybe I just need more hugs!
Thanks again!
Dave and (Dawn)
Dave and Dawn recently posted..Find Your Profitable Path to Personal Development
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 8th, 2010 at 12:36 am
Dave and Dawn,
Time to stop what you are doing, right now, and give each other a big cuddly hug! You’ve both been on overdrive for awhile.
Erica
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July 6th, 2010 at 7:12 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Dave & Dawn Cook. Dave & Dawn Cook said: Relaxation Techniques – The Rubenfeld Synergy Method of Talk and Touch | Create Healing and Love Now http://bit.ly/cWE3cy [...]
July 6th, 2010 at 10:32 pm
Great post Erica,
I agree, that post just made me feel a lot more relaxed. Just what I need at the end of today.
Being able to relax is soooo important in life for relationships and business and the law of attraction.
Thanks again!
Aidan Gibson recently posted..Mobile Marketing For Your Business
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 7th, 2010 at 12:13 am
Hi Aidan (Can’t help thinking of Carrie Bradshaw’s boyfriend Aidan on Sex and the City),
Relaxation is essential for the body and it also helps your mind to be able to conceive of different perspectives about any issues. Tension repels; relaxation invites. So relaxation enhances attraction.
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July 7th, 2010 at 11:25 am
Perfect reminder just as I was getting tense and rushed! Thanks Erica! It’s great to read more about your practice and how you work.
Teresa Ivory recently posted..Success Stories- Danielle Zack
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 8th, 2010 at 12:23 am
Thanks Teresa,
Isn’t it interesting how, even if you work with energy and know its effects, it is still so easy to forget and become tense?
Always nice to remind yourself to slow down, relax and enjoy the moment.
Erica
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July 7th, 2010 at 2:30 pm
OOOOOH! I need this. It reminds me I need to make sure my hubby and I give each other massages. We get too busy and neglect that. Relaxation is so important these stressful days.
Melodie Kantner recently posted..What Economic Crisis
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 8th, 2010 at 12:22 am
Melodie, What a great response! Your first thought is to include your husband and massage each other. What a great way to relax – together.
Erica
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July 7th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
I would like to finish everyday in a quite place of relaxation it healths the body, mind and spirit. I like what your reply, ” tension repels; relaxation invites.
Debby
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July 7th, 2010 at 7:31 pm
Hi Erica,
Thanks for sharing this. I’ve never heard of The Rubenfeld Synergy Method, is there anyone registered in the UK?
I liked your comment about the need to have at least 5 hugs per day. I certainly try to give my son that amount and more and I do think it gives him reassurance and gives him strength.
I’ve only ever had one massage, it was lovely and I really should take some time out to have another.
Vanessa
Take care,
Vanessa
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 8th, 2010 at 12:35 am
Vanessa,
Hi. Yes there are two Rubenfeld Synergists in the UK, Laura Steckler in Edinburgh and Particia Duffy in Borughty Ferry, both in Scotland. Well worth having an experience of the gentle touch and talking about and becoming more clear about life issues as your body lets down.
Their names and phone numbers are listed at the web site http://www.rubenfeldSynergy.com
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July 8th, 2010 at 12:24 am
Thanks Debby, You must have your own way to relax with such a busy family life, all that wonderfully healthy cooking, and your business.
Erica
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July 8th, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Well Dr. Erica I’m embarrassed to say it’s been a while since visiting your site. Been on the road for weeks now and my tribe has suffered for it. Now that I am here for a while I will do more relaxing, massaging and syndicating! Thank you for the wonderful reminder to slow down and take time to clear your mind, body and spirit. I’m off to do exactly that in a few hours.
Abundant Blessings,
Kellie
Kellie Frazier recently posted..Is The Desire of Your Heart is Great Relationships – Success Pillar Three
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 8th, 2010 at 8:57 pm
Kellie,
Thanks but there is absolutely no need for an apology. Although i love syndicating with this tribe, it does take time, and when we get busy – especially travelling as you have been – it is necessary to take time off. You can only do so much. You are not a machine. So I’m glad you are taking time off to relax a bit.
Warmly, with a big hug, Erica
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July 8th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Great post! I am a very tense person and get stressed so easy. I need to learn to relax more on a night. Thanks for the tips.
Karla Bond recently posted..Poopie All Around
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July 8th, 2010 at 4:29 pm
Dr. Erica: It’s strange how as I read this post, I actually realized just how tense I was! Stress is indeed a sneaky thing. When you mentioned 5 hugs a day for health, I also realized I’m behind today!
I find peace and relaxation in my garden. But, some days don’t permit enough time out there or the weather doesn’t cooperate. I will have to watch my thoughts more closely!
Thank you so much for a great post!
Deborah
Deborah A. Ten Brink recently posted..A Personal Message to Blogging Newbies…
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 9:33 pm
Deborah,
Gardening is such a great way to become peaceful, absorbing, quiet and meditative. But when you can’t be outside, you can still find another way to get into that peaceful state. It’s often a matter of, as you said, watching and gaining control over your thoughts.
Erica
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July 8th, 2010 at 8:59 pm
Karla,
For someone like you who is generally tense, it really helps to go get a session from another person – preferably being able to talk while being touched so you connect to the issues that are stressing you out. But even just receiving a one hour session of some type of touch therapy can have a really lasting effect for hours, days, even weeks.
Erica
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July 9th, 2010 at 2:06 am
Erica,
I heard her speak at a conference over a decade ago, she was very impressive. And I am a firm believer in the mind/body connection, so you’re preaching to the choir there. I was in bioenergetic analysis for a number of years and still believe that yoga has helped me more than most of my psychotherapists!
Thanks for a great post,
Adam
Dr. Adam Sheck recently posted..Stop Making Excuses For Not Having Sex-
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 2:17 am
Adam, I don’t mind preaching to the choir a bit – it helps me to remember how valuable (and sometimes life-changing and life-saving) this work is. I keep learning more about your comprehensive background and training. It really does take a lot of self-awareness and training to be able to empathize with clients as they share their lives with us as practitioners.
I also taught yoga for many years as a professor of health and physical education, so I certainly know the power of yoga to heal as well.
Erica
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July 9th, 2010 at 9:30 am
Erica,
Like some of your other commentators, I found myself breathing more deeply and slowly and relaxing more as I read your post. I was surprised when I read other people had done the same!
I am a very ‘huggy’ sort of person, I think it feels lovely and hug my partner and children (even though they are adults) as often as possible!
Thanks, I will definitely be back whenever I need to relax.
Sue
Sue Collier recently posted..Home Based Business – Creating A Dream Book
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July 9th, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Erica,

Touch and relaxation make alot of sense. You can always calm an infant by touch. Sometimes we just can’t release the negative energy and tightness by ourselves. I love that you not only practice the techniques but also teach them to your clients.
How wonderful,
Val
Val Wilcox recently posted..Renew Your Mindset With Faith
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 9:24 pm
Val, Thanks for the supportive comments. What helps clients to change habitual patterns is to first become aware of what they are doing, the stressful patterns that feel so natural. Gradually, awareness leads to change. And as the body shifts, so does the mind, the thought patterns – and the law of attraction begins its magic.
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July 9th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
Erica,
Relaxation is a huge benefit in our lives… we use an hour in the morning to meditate, and it makes a huge difference in our day. And hugs… most definitely cool!! We both love hugs a lot.
Thanks so much,
~ Pat and Lorna
http://TheCoolestCouple.com
Pat and Lorna Shanks recently posted..Are They Looking at Me Its All About What Your Prospects Want
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 9th, 2010 at 9:26 pm
That’s wonderful that you both meditation. That silence is the source through which creative genius arises. And hugs help you to feel so good about yourself and about life. What a cool couple!
Erica
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July 10th, 2010 at 1:50 am
Erica, my wife and I practice much of this daily. We not only hug a lot but give each other good back rubs when the other least expects it. And when all else fails I fall back on 4 oz of a fine Port wine just before bed. Works every time.
Nelson recently posted..“He was Voted Most Likely To Not Make It”
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 10th, 2010 at 2:10 am
Nelson,
Your comment made me laugh. It’s wonderful to share touch and hugs and massages, but you’re right – as long as you don’t have a serious addiction problem with alcohol, a glass of wine can be so relaxing. And some studies have found it may even be healthy for your arteries.
Erica
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July 10th, 2010 at 4:10 am
I like Nelson’s idea of relaxing, but yours may be more sound.
I am going to look this up and maybe give my husband a hug if he is nice. Thanks for sharing this.
Nicole Rushin recently posted..Releasing Butterflies to Manifest Your Dreams
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 10th, 2010 at 4:17 am
Nicole,
I chuckled when you said you might give your husband a hug – if he is nice. Have you ever given him a hug when he was not nice? That could actually change his mood – and it would change yours at the same time, i.e., unless he rejects the hug because he is in a bad mood. And then that may require a conversation, some time later – perhaps during a nice dinner….
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July 10th, 2010 at 9:31 am
Hi Erica,
I’m a relatively recent convert to enjoying the journey. It’s all too easy to plough forward towards the ultimate goal, missing all the good stuff along the way. I usually get my relaxation through running and exercise but as I’ve managed to injure myself I’m like a bear with a sore head today! I think I’ll make a special effort to give and to get at least 5 hugs this weekend…!
Thanks
Andrew Sayers recently posted..Sales Surgery Part 2 – Sales Managers
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July 10th, 2010 at 10:20 pm
Andrew, Sorry to hear about your injury, but that seems to be par for the course with athletics. And then it can force you to slow down and re-evaluate some aspects of your daily life. I commend you for thinking about giving 5 hugs this weekend.
Warmly, Erica
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July 22nd, 2010 at 1:49 pm
The power of touch is amazing.So many studies out about it.Premature babies sometimes have issues as they get older if an effort wasn’t made to touch them often when in the hospital. Thanks for reminding me I need my hugs today.I am going to tell my husband I need 10.
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
July 22nd, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Beverly,
That’t the best, being able to reach out to your spouse for some loving touch and hugs. Good for you.
Erica
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July 30th, 2010 at 5:02 am
I remember our session Erica. This was so soothing and helped me for many weeks. Thank you for this post and giving me a chance to comment on your wonderful work. Everyone who needs to relax and get in-touch with their feelings emotionally and physically, should try it
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July 30th, 2010 at 11:14 pm
Thanks for your kind words about the Rubenfeld Synergy Method of talk and touch. Once your body is given a chance to let go of habitual tension, your mind can finally see many new possibilities and new ways to view familiar situations and relationships.
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August 18th, 2010 at 7:05 am
I really enjoyed your post. I really like the part about gentle touch to help the body relax and empathic words to encourage self-acceptance.
My wife was recently diagnosed with fibromialgia and I am hoping that this technique may help her to relax and feel a little better if at all possible.
Keith Martin
Publisher, InfiniteWaterFountains.com
Keith Martin recently posted..Alpine Buddha Serenity Fountain – Peace and Serenity Personified
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Dr. Goodstone Reply:
August 19th, 2010 at 2:33 am
If you go to the web site, http://www.RubenfeldSynergy.com, you can locate a practitioner in your area. Your wife will really benefit from receiving the gentle touch and connecting her body sensations to thoughts and feelings and emotions in her life.
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