Stop the dating cycle and finally get a commitment

Are you or someone you know struggling with dating, finding men who seem to be “the one” and then disappoint you within a few weeks or months? Maybe you have been blindly opening your heart and believing that the other person feels the same way. Maybe you just don’t know what to look for, what to expect and what to walk away from.

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Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 30 – FLOW

Love in the Blizzard of Life - Creativity

I have discovered, for myself, that taking on a challenge gets my psychic and physical energy flowing and aligned. In other words, it puts me into the FLOW.  After 30 days of writing blog posts daily, I want to leave you with the most important aspect of any activity in your life.  If you are operating within this system, everything else seems to fall into place.  When you are in the FLOW, life is beautiful, every moment is an adventure to cherish, and every person is a symbol of God’s love.

Young children naturally function within the FLOW of their everyday activities.  When they get involved in an activity, they are totally present until something distracts them and then they become totally involved in a new activity.  When we are in the FLOW, time moves slowly and we are not impatient.  When we are in the FLOW of love, we are happy to allow the love to build, we enjoy the nuances of our shared experience and we express all those other wonderful qualities I have been talking about for 29 days.  When we are in relationship FLOW, each of us feels accepted, understood, appreciated, acknowledged, trusted and desired.  There is no craving or longing for something outside the relationship because we are able to express our full self and feel all of our feelings.

You may have a strong INCENTIVE, INTENTION,  PRESENT MOMENT awareness, DRIVE,  inner ARCHITECT,  PATIENCE, ability to SURRENDER,  COMMITMENT, TRUST, DISCERNMENT, PASSION, DESIRE,  CREATIVITY,  SENSUALITY, SEXUAL EXPRESSION, COMPASSION, and  COMMUNICATION. You PRACTICE relationships skills, you balance TOGETHERNESS and AUTONOMY,  your SENSITIVITY. UNDERSTANDING, RECEPTIVITY, FORGIVENESS, ACCEPTANCE, and EMPATHY may be flourishing.  You may know the PURPOSE for your relationship and your life MISSION. You may even have a sense of MASTERY of your relationships and your life.  If you have developed all of the above skills to an adequate (not perfect) level, then you will easily and often find yourself living in the FLOW, loving your life and loving your relationships.

Today’s question is:  How often and how easily do you find yourself living and loving in the FLOW?

  • Are you able to roll with the punches, take the path of least resistance, and enjoy drifting along within your relationships?
  • Can you set the course, ask for what you want, encourage others to express their needs and then creatively rise above the tide?
  • When you feel a surge of fear, discomfort, emotional uncertainty, disappointment even boredom, can you stay the course, ride the wave, and continue to more forward within your relationships?

Ask yourself NOW: Can I stay in the FLOW when I encounter the ups and downs and ins and outs of loving relationships in my life?

Being in the FLOW is what allows works of art to be created.  Being in the FLOW leads to marriage, business development, and success at all levels of human being.  Relationships are a work of art in progress.  The instrument through which we create this masterpiece is LOVE.   With interest, determination, study and practice we CAN develop all the necessary skills and emotional overtones to build exquisite relationships filled with love.  Are YOU ready to develop MASTERY and get into the FLOW?

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Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

 

 

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Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 23 – RECEPTIVITY

Love in the Blizzard of Life - Creativity

RECEPTIVITY, an open mind, open heart and open arms toward us, cannot help but bring a smile to our face and a warm feeling spreading through our body.  We thrive on someone else’s RECEPTIVITY to us, to our ideas, to our suggestions, to our expressed and unexpressed needs and desires.   Often, we expect the other person – in business, in family, in friendship and in our most intimate relationship – to be receptive, caring, demonstrating acceptance, and being friendly and approachable to us.  But do we reciprocate?

You may be clear about your INCENTIVE, INTENTION,  PRESENT MOMENT awareness, DRIVE,  inner ARCHITECT,  PATIENCE, ability to SURRENDER,  COMMITMENT, TRUST, DISCERNMENT, PASSION, DESIRE,  CREATIVITY,  SENSUALITY, SEXUAL EXPRESSION, COMPASSION, and  COMMUNICATION. You PRACTICE your relationships skills, you are able to balance TOGETHERNESS and AUTONOMY,  your SENSITIVITY  and UNDERSTANDING are strong. But can you allow your RECEPTIVITY to surpass your resistance, judgement, blame, emotional upsets and resentments that occur when life hits you some curve balls?

Today’s question is:  How strong is your RECEPTIVITY to another person’s different perspective, opposing needs and desires, and alternative ways of handling and altering plans and activities that directly affect you?

  • Are you accessible, approachable, open, friendly and readily interested in the people with whom you have business and personal relationships?
  • Can you avoid expressing hostility, judgement, anger, frustration and disdain when another person directly opposes what YOU think is the correct and best way to do something?
  • Do you remain calm and centered, caring and attentive toward yourself and another person, in the face of that person’s anger, argumentativeness, lack of empathy, intimidation and aggression?

Ask yourself NOW: How much RECEPTIVITY am I able to exhibit before I start to resist, judge, blame, withdraw and indicate my displeasure at another person’s attitudes and actions that differ from what I want and expect?

RECEPTIVITY is one of the qualities that we all love in babies, young children and in starry eyed lovers.  They respond openly with all of their senses.  They smile and laugh, giggle and reach out to touch, and are totally accepting of the present moment and the person who is presently the object of their attention and affection.  However, as a baby grows up and as two lovers spend more time together, they may gradually lose that spontaneous RECEPTIVITY.  Concerns and issues of daily living, unmet needs, and inappropriate expectations can cause a once receptive person to become guarded, self-protective, distrustful and resistant.  The goal is to develop Beginner’s Mind, to become like a child again or a lover of life, and to embrace life with a full dose of RECEPTIVITY daily.

Relationships are built upon the complexity and interactions among all the different possible qualities, both positive and negative, that we can bring.  Every quality is important, to some degree.  It is really the balance among all the different possibilities that can lead to joy and happiness or sadness and emotional devastation.

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

Find a Healing Book or Kindle Book

Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 22 – UNDERSTANDING

Love in the Blizzard of Life - Creativity

UNDERSTANDING surpasses many qualities in life.  With a deep UNDERSTANDING of the complexities of a situation, the different meaning attributed to the same circumstances by the different people involved, we can overcome even the most seemingly impossible difficulties.

I remember a story about a Black preacher sharing a TV appearance with a staunch Ku Klux Klan member and by the end of the show they were shaking hands and liking each other.  The preacher had such a profound and comprehensive understanding that surpassed the lower level of prejudice between them.  Today I attended the Florida Marriage and Family Therapy State Conference.  A chaplain serving in the U.S. military shared a story about his response as a  “trained soldier” to his daughter’s unwillingness to do what he asked her to do.   That situation required a profound understanding by his wife about the way he had been taught to respond as a soldier. In his words he said.  “First I insist.  Then I assist.”  In other words, he asks once and if the person does not do what was asked, he forces the issue because his goal is to protect that person.  With ongoing and open communication, he and his wife and his child were able to “understand” each other and return to love.

So in your life, you may now have INCENTIVE, INTENTION,  PRESENT MOMENT awareness, DRIVE,  inner ARCHITECT,  PATIENCE, ability to SURRENDER,  COMMITMENT, TRUST, DISCERNMENT, PASSION, DESIRE,  CREATIVITY,  SENSUALITY, full SEXUAL EXPRESSION, COMPASSION,  good COMMUNICATION, PRACTICE building relationships skills, a healthy balance between TOGETHERNESS and AUTONOMY  and SENSITIVITY when you feel at least some of the above qualities in the other person.  But what happens when their response seems to be “crazy” or coming from left field.  How much UNDERSTANDING can you apply to the situation at hand?

Today’s question is:  Do you have a deep and comprehensive UNDERSTANDING about the way YOU think and feel, the way OTHERS think and respond, the way the WORLD words and the way RELATIONSHIPS develop?

  • Are you able to fully embrace a completely different point of view, perspective or style of handling situations with your spouse, business associate or others?
  • Can you remain kind, supportive, considerate, empathic and even indulgent when another person’s response does not yet make sense to you?
  • How perceptive, aware, thoughtful, kind and compassionate are you in situations and relationships that are difficult to comprehend, interpret or settle harmoniously?

Ask yourself NOW: How much informed, reasoned and studied UNDERSTANDING do you bring to the complex, confusing, upsetting and disharmonious situations and relationships in your life?

When I took the EST Training with Werner Erhard many, many years ago, he used to say repeatedly:  “Understanding is the booby prize.”  In his way of thinking, UNDERSTANDING is an intellectual activity and bypasses the emotions.  In my experience over a few decades with thousands of clients, without UNDERSTANDING there is often lots of emotion, lots of expressed negative emotion, and lots of resistance and emotional pain.  With deep and respectful and abiding UNDERSTANDING, forgiveness becomes possible, love surpasses self-interest, and relationships can flourish.

Relationships are built upon the complexity and interactions among all the different possible qualities, both positive and negative, that we can bring.  Every quality is important, to some degree.  It is really the balance among all the different possibilities that can lead to joy and happiness or sadness and emotional devastation.

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

Find a Healing Book or Kindle Book

Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 14 – SENSUALITY

Love in the Blizzard of Life - Creativity

In the early stages of a romantic relationship, SENSUALITY is naturally expressed in your style of dress, your activities, your words and your thoughts.  SENSUALITY relaxes and stimulates your body and your mind, enabling you to build an intimate bond, even when your relationship hits a rough period.

Your INCENTIVE, INTENTION,  PRESENT MOMENT awareness, DRIVE  inner ARCHITECT,  PATIENCE, and ability to SURRENDER may wane as the realities and routines of every day living set in.  You may still have a strong COMMITMENT, TRUST, DISCERNMENT, PASSION, DESIRE and CREATIVITY. Yet without being able to express your natural SENSUALITY, your body may interfere with your mind’s good intentions and basic values.

Today’s question is:  Are you feeling sensually alive?  Does your SENSUALITY arise naturally, consistently and easily in your relationships or has your sensual awareness gradually diminished?

 

  • Does your body feel healthy, strong, flexible and sensually vibrant?
  • Are you aware of and experiencing pleasant sensual stimulation in your daily living?
  • Do you feel sexy, sensual, attractive, erotic and desirous of physical contact?

Ask yourself NOW: Am I expressing my SENSUALITY with my thoughts, my words, my body language and my physical movements?

SENSUALITY  is the spice of an intimate relationship and the impetus behind building a business empire.  Before our dream can materialize, we need to experience it with all of our senses.  What we feel with our senses bypasses and overrides  our conscious mind.  When we connect with our own bodily sensations and others feel the power of our sensual energy, they will naturally be attracted to us and follow our lead.

Relationships are built upon the complexity and interactions among all the different possible qualities, both positive and negative, that we can bring.  Every quality is important, to some degree.  It is really the balance among all the different possibilities that can lead to joy and happiness or sadness and emotional devastation.

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

Find a Healing Book or Kindle Book

Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

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Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 13 – CREATIVITY

Love in the Blizzard  of Life -  Creativity

CREATIVITY AND CREATIVE EXPRESSION are the tools for building PASSION   and DESIRE in relationships.  Many of us exhibit our greatest creative potential in the early stages of a relationship.  We offer new ideas.  We plan unusual and fun activities.  We say enticing words verbally or through text messages.  But the key is to continually access and develop our creativity so that we are in the flow of life, sharing our excitement and interest with others.

You may have already built a strong INCENTIVE, INTENTION,  PRESENT MOMENT awareness, DRIVE, your inner ARCHITECT.  You may be able to SURRENDER   with PATIENCE, COMMITMENT, TRUST, DISCERNMENT, PASSION and DESIRE to create a wonderful relationship.  However, if your thoughts and actions lack CREATIVITY your relationship will soon become routine, taken for granted and even boring.

Today’s question is:  Do regularly use your imagination to create a new and exciting vision that continues to inspire you and those in relationship with you?

  •  Do you have resources to tap into and original approaches to overcome problems and create excitement and a sense of  adventure in your relationships?
  • Do you strive to discover new ways to communicate as well as unusual and unexpected actions to take that surprise and delight yourself and others?
  • Are you an  original, an innovative and inspirational partner or do you easily accept the status quo without striving for more?

Ask yourself NOW: Am I expressing my CREATIVITY?

CREATIVITY is an essential aspect of life.  When we stop dreaming and imagining and expressing our creative potentials, we lose the spark and excitement and spontaneity that makes life exciting and filled with adventure.

Relationships are built upon the complexity and interactions among all the different possible qualities, both positive and negative, that we can bring.  Every quality is important, to some degree.  It is really the balance among all the different possibilities that can lead to joy and happiness or sadness and emotional devastation.

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

Find a Healing Book or Kindle Book

Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

 

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Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 11 – PASSION

Love in the Blizzard of Life

 

PASSION is at the heart of all creative endeavors.  Without PASSION, an artist’s work  would not and could not reach the soul of the viewer.  Without PASSION in a relationship, the quality of interactions become dull and lifeless with a sense of going through the motions and the thought: “Is that all there is?”

You may have INCENTIVE, INTENTION,  PRESENT MOMENT awareness, DRIVE, your inner ARCHITECT ability to SURRENDER,  PATIENCE, COMMITMENT, TRUST and DISCERNMENT.  But without PASSION, your relationship will remain lifeless, uninspiring, even boring and dull.  And over time, you will lose interest or become resentful.

Today’s question is:  Does PASSION fill your heart and drive you to create wonder and excitement in your relationship or have your interactions become predictable, boring and unsatisfying in some way?

 

  • Do you crave and hunger for attention, communication, acknowledgement an d love from another person?
  • Does your relationship trigger you to get angry, sad, have emotional outbursts and desire for deeper and more frequent contact?
  • Does your body ache and your mind hunger to improve your relationship, to open the other person’s hear

Ask yourself NOW: How strong is my PASSION to do what it takes to build, preserve and improve my relationships?

PASSION is the doorway to creative expression, emotional expansion, intellectual wisdom and sensual, sexual as well as purely romantic love.  With enduring PASSION you feel as if you can conquer the world together, in business or in life.  Without PASSION, life can seem to have no purpose, you can feel as if you have no mission and have lost your dream.

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

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Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

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Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 10 – DISCERNMENT

Love in the Blizzard of Life

DISCERNMENT could be the most important quality, and so often overlooked, in most relationships.  A man meets a beautiful woman and believes what she tells him without discerning what is actually happening compared to what is being said.  A woman meets a man who claims to be successful and blames his ex for causing the breakup.  The woman needs to pay attention and discern from his words and attitudes and behaviors how his style of relating may have been the true cause of his previous breakup.

By now you have realized you have the INCENTIVE and INTENTION, in the PRESENT MOMENT, with DRIVE and your inner ARCHITECT.    You are able to SURRENDER,  you have PATIENCE and a strong COMMITMENT and you TRUST that your relationship has a solid foundation and will last.  At this point it is wise to step back, remain calm and neutral, and evaluate the state of your relationship now.  The important quality here is DISCERNMENT.

Today’s question is:  Are you able to judge with sensitivity and neutrality the level of your own or the other person’s consistent use of the qualities required to sustain a loving relationship?

  • Can you select those qualities in yourself and in the other person that are enhancing or destroying your relationship?
  • Are you shrewd and skillful enough to discriminate between inner motivation and outer appearance?
  • Do you have the acumen and sensitivity to recognize a deficiency in any of these qualities in yourself or the other person?

Ask yourself NOW:  Have I developed a high enough level of DISCERNMENT to recognize which course of action is best for the health and well being of the relationship, the other person and myself?

DISCERNMENT requires an acute sensitivity to the nuances of thoughts, attitudes, body language, words, behaviors, and actions of both people in a relationship.  Without DISCERNMENT we can eventually feel blindsided if the other person has been harboring thoughts and feelings that we have not noticed or realized.

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

Find a Healing Book or Kindle Book

Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

 

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Love in the Blizzard of Life – Day 3 – THE PRESENT MOMENT

Love in the Blizzard of Life

The foundation of love is built in the PRESENT MOMENT NOW.  Love exists right now, in this very moment and then again in this next moment.  Love does NOT happen in the past and it does NOT occur in the imagined future.   Loving relationships begin the moment YOU feel and acknowledge the love that is already within you and exists now within others.

At this point you KNOW that you DO have the following (If you have any doubts, click the links and read the previous posts):

You DO have the INCENTIVE to create a loving relationship because you feel motivated, you have a solid reason and you feel encouraged and hopeful.

You DO have the INTENTION to do what it takes to create a loving relationship because your relationship has special meaning for you, it serves a unique purpose, and you have a dream for your life that you believe this relationship can help you to attain.

Today I ask you to reflect upon the way you tend to think, feel, speak and behave in the PRESENT MOMENT.

The question to ask yourself now is:

What can I do NOW to help me feel my INCENTIVE and remember my INTENTION in the PRESENT MOMENT when relationship discords, frustrations, hurts and negative emotions occur?

  • Observe and notice yourself and others in the current moment.  Pay attention to the words spoken and unspoken, the tone of voice, the body language, the attitude and the overt behaviors.
  • Observe and notice how quickly a word, behavior or energetic change can affect both you and the other person.  Do not ignore even the most subtle changes, e.g., a tightening in your stomach, the other person looking away or folding the arms, a change in the tone of voice….
  • Observe and notice those split seconds or longer moments when you or the other person is no longer present, is here but is really there (in the past, with someone else, imagining the future).

Ask Yourself Now:  What can I do NOW to help me feel my INCENTIVE and remember my INTENTION in the  moment when relationship discords, frustrations, hurts and negative emotions occur?

Make a decision NOW to start paying attention to the nuances of the moment to moment interactions you have in each of your relationships.  At first this may feel a bit strange and even daunting to consider.  So don’t stress yourself out about it.  Just pay attention for a few minutes. An easy way to begin is to observe your interactions with someone who is not a close friend or lover, such as the check out person in the supermarket, a brief conversation with one of your neighbors, or the way you respond to a waiter who has not yet delivered your food or beverage.  The goal is to bring love into your PRESENT MOMENT, regardless of what is happening and to leave your past behind and your future where it belongs, in the future.

Allowing yourself to be in the PRESENT MOMENT can literally transform your life one person, one relationship at a time.

PLEASE JOIN MY RELATIONSHIP HEALING MASTERMIND COMMUNITY AT GOOGLEPLUS.

Find a Healing Book or Kindle Book

Schedule an appointment DrEricaWellness.com

Love in the Blizzard of Life. A Romantic Love Story stepping into the blizzard of life.  Available at Amazon.com.

Warmly,

Dr. Erica

 

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