We have all committed relationship sins, perhaps without even realizing.  In fact, it may have seemed so natural that we never even thought twice about it.

  • Are you guilty of committing any relationship sins, ever? 
  • Have your sins caused others to suffer irreparable emotional damage?
  • Have you endured intense emotional upset because someone is blaming you?
  • Do you feel guilty for having your own particular wants, needs and desires?
  • Have you committed unforgivable relationship sins?

 

By now you may be squirming, thinking “Uh-Oh,” my sins have been discovered. 

  • I am not as loving and giving as I pretend to be. 
  • I don’t always put my partner’s needs first. 
  • I have a big temper that often upsets those closest to me. 
  • I cheated on my partner once or I’m currently having an ongoing affair. 
  • I have a sexual fetish that I haven’t told anyone about.
  • I have a private addiction that could hurt my relationship.

Now, take a deep breath and a sigh of relief.  The list above are not the primary relationship sins, merely some of the many symptoms, the type of results that may occur, and not the original cause.  The mental process, the subconscious belief, and a certain incorrect way of thinking is always the cause.

Here are the three basic relationship sins.

  1. You think, believe and “know” the cause of the problem is outside yourself.
  2. You create an idol, a God, out of something or someone outside of yourself.
  3. You give, maybe you even give a lot, but you have an expectation of ROI.

#1 – If you truly believe the cause of any problem, any problem at all, is outside yourself and you are just a victim of circumstances, then your relationships are bound to suffer.  Your intimate partner will tell you something that disturbs him or her and you will put blinders on, seeing that person as demanding, controlling, selfish, wanting something from you, etc.  You co-worker suggest a new idea and you put your blinders on again, seeing that idea as useless or too difficult to implement or a threat to your currently comfortable way of working.

Seeing the problem, any problem, as outside yourself is a prescription for conflict and less than optimal success.  Begin to view all problems, even a non-working piece of equipment, as in some way related to something you have done, not done, overlooked, not properly cared for or at least a part of some higher plan that you do not currently understand.

#2 – Do not create an idol, a God, out of anyone or anything outside yourself.  Don’t idolize some beautiful young woman who appears to have everything you want.  Don’t idolize a man who appears to have the strength and romantic capability you long for. Don’t idolize a guru in your field of work or study.  Don’t idolize or turn to a substance or activity as a way of comforting yourself and avoiding facing your own reality.  Yes, it is okay to have preferences and people and activities that you enjoy, but beware when you make them into an idol that you pursue regardless of the effect upon the rest of your life.

#3 – Learn to give from your heart, freely and openly, without expectation of  ROI (return on investment).  Do not think of giving as an investment.  Do not give money to someone in order to buy their love.  Do not offer your body sexually to “obligate” someone into becoming intimate.  Do not give from an empy emotional bank account.  Fill your own consciousness with love and abundance first.  Then give from your own overflow without concern for receiving a return.  Good will eventually return to you, but it often comes from a source other than the one you expect it from.  Give freely and feel the gratitude in your heart, gratitude for your own abundance and ability to give. 

There you have it – the three serious relationship sins.  Your task now is to avoid these sins whenever possible, acknowledge them when they occur, and make it your goal to overcome them.  Enjoy your life fully.  Go — and sin no more!

Feel you can’t do it alone?  Please reach out for help.  Schedule a private coaching or counseling session

Prefer reading a book to help you practice the art of loving, Love Me, Touch Me, Heal Me or choose an ebook at LoveTouchHealEbooks

Warmly,

DrErica

 

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