The fragility of love – and the secret to keeping it alive

fragile path to love

LOVE IS FRAGILE

Remember the poem “How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways” the 43rd Sonnet written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning in the 19th century.  “I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach….”  From this beautiful romantic poem we are led to believe that to love is uplifting, heartwarming and provides intimate connection that lasts forever, way beyond our current lifetime.

The truth about being human and living in the real world is that very few of us have experienced such all-consuming, lifelong, undying and passionate love.  For those of us who find ourselves in the throes of love, we really do believe it will last forever.  We believe that the passion will always be there and our hearts will continue to lead us back to love.

Love does not always prevail 

That spark of love can be easily shattered by one huge and insurmountable event or an accumulation of small disappointments and minor emotional upsets  that chip away at our attempts to love, destroy our desire to be intimate, and block and suppress our passion.

                           Love really is fragile 

Most of us have discovered that love is more fragile than we had originally believed.  But that is not surprising.  Watch how babies and young children respond to their mommies and daddies.  They are so happy to be coddled and held by their parents.  However, as children mature into adolescence and adulthood,  they discover the real human beings that had once appeared as powerful Gods.  The letdown and disappointment, hurt and confusion can be enormous, especially if one parent belittles or disparages the other.  Once the innocence of believing in all powerful perfect parents and a perfect world is broken, we cannot easily get it back.  From that point on we need to grow up and learn to live in the world as it is.

Persistent and unwavering love is usually not easy.

When we are attracted to someone new and fall in love, our innocence temporarily returns.  We trust in love and we believe these wonderful feelings will last.  Those fortunate couples who manage to keep love alive and maintain the passion of love know a secret that others do not comprehend.  Just as a champion is looked upon with envy and admiration for “winning” and “achieving results,” those who manage to keep the spark of love alive have followed a different path from those who have not succeeded.

The path of love often involves overcoming emotional ups and downs,
setting clear boundaries, and giving again and again,
even when we feel there is nothing left to give.

What has the path of love been like in Your life? 

Come Home To Love

Color Your Relationships For Love

Accept Me Naked

There really are some simple solutions for creating lasting love in your life.  But I must warn you, it does take self-reflection, perhaps some study, and facing yourself with humility, honesty, compassion and loving acceptance.

GET YOUR COMPLEMENTARY LOVE SUCCESS BREAKTHROUGH SESSION

I believe “Where there is love there IS a way.”

What do YOU  believe?

Please share about your own experience with love in the comments below.

In the meantime….

GET ACCESS TO THE WOMEN AND LOVE SUMMIT

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GET ACCESS TO THE LOVE ME TOUCH ME HEAL ME SUMMIT

44 experts speaking about touch, touch therapy, somatic awareness, creative arts healing, body oriented psychotherapy and the healing power of gentle touch

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Let this be YOUR TIME TO CREATE LOVE AND PASSION AND INTIMACY

Contact Me to create the love in your life that really is possible.

With love and caring,

Dr. Erica

 

 

 

Erica Goodstone,Ph.D.,  LMHC, LMFT
Love Mentor and Relationship Healer
Where There Is Love There IS A Way
DrEricaGoodstone.com

12 thoughts on “The fragility of love – and the secret to keeping it alive

    • Dr. Sharon,
      The Women and Love Summit ended last month. It reached a lot of people with many different perspectives about women, love, relationships and life success. This current post is focused on love and how we do need to nurture our love relationships because they can be easily broken and not easily repaired.
      Dr. Erica

  1. Looks like it was a wonderful event Dr. Erica! No question, relationships are complicated. I learned (the hard way) a long time ago to keep my mouth shut when someone cries on my shoulder about how awful their partner is. I am happy to leave the entire topic of love and romantic relationships to experts such as yourself.

    • Marquita,
      As I respond to this I am listening to a talk about forgiveness. We have to take personal responsibility in relationships to discover how much we are affecting the other person’s attitude and behavior. And also, we need to be able to forgive the other person not for them but for our own sense of well being. That is where therapy can be essential. Just complaining about our partner to someone else does not lead to creating a loving relationship. If you are the one listening, it puts you into an awkward position and it is much better for you to just remain neutral if possible.
      Warmly,
      Dr. Erica

  2. Hi Dr Erica,

    My road to romantic love has been rocky to say the least, and no wish to continue along it – I am a happy “loner”.

    But I have been blessed with a very loving family and that makes up for everything.

    Joy Healey – Blogging After Dark

    • Joy,
      Intimate relationships can be so difficult, requiring lots of understanding, patience, communication and forgiveness. Most relationships do not match what we see in the media or even on social media, places where people reveal the best parts and often hide the underlying struggles. It is wonderful that you are blessed with a loving family. As long as you feel loved, nothing is more important than that. Enjoy the holidays with your family and appreciate yourself and the good work that you do.
      Warmly,
      Dr. Erica

  3. Hi Dr. Erica,

    Last week we celebrated 45 years of love, togetherness and happiness.

    You mention that people who keep love alive for long term know secrets. If only I could share some such relationship tidbit!

    With me, I genuinely like my Wife just like she is on the moment – not that she’s not sometimes unfathomable. She makes me laugh and I’d still rather hang with her than anyone I’ve known.

    I can’t say it’s always been chocolate, champagne, rose petals and starry eyes, but we’ve always managed to consider problems as temporary.

    Thanks for an interesting article that made me reflective.
    Edward

    • Hi Ed,

      Such a beautiful way to describe the way you feel. I can say about my husband that he still amazes me with the things he know, even after 31 years of marriage. Not often “chocolate, champagne and rose petals”, but he is the one person I know I can depend upon in an emergency or any other current situation, as simple as a problem with my computer.

      Warmly,

      Dr. Erica

  4. Hi,
    I agree with your insights. Being driven, in the past, I thought I could be the one who held the relationship together, but now I know it really does take effort and desire on both people’s parts.
    Janice

    • Hi Janice,

      Yes, relationships require both people to be involved. That is why it is called a relationship. When just one person makes the effort and continually feels hurt, ignored and mistreated, both people lose out. We need to sometimes make a huge effort to engage our partner, that can be done by one person who is more aware or more determined. However, if the partner does not meet you halfway or at least part of the way, you are probably fighting a losing battle.
      Warmly,
      Dr. Erica

    • Hi Lesly,

      Can’t wait to hang out with you and brainstorm about possibilities for 2018 and beyond.
      My goal now is to focus on Healing Through Love and marketing our healing messages for therapists and coaches.
      So excited about what you keep bringing to PAC to help coaches and entrepreneurs belong to a supportive community
      of success oriented go-givers like you and other PAC members.

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