When Love is Not Enough

A cloud is just a stopping point along the rainbow's path

Is there ever a time when love is not enough?  I believe that love is ALWAYS enough, that somehow we have not been able to love enough when we don’t get the results we desire.  The problem, or flaw, in our thinking is about what we desire and our ability to recognize results when we attain them. 

If we desire to “get” another person to love us the way we want to be loved, we may not possess enough of our own love to ‘get’ that person to conform to our needs.  By attempting to “get” another person to fit our dream, we are not showing love and it is not respecting the other person’s process.  No matter how close, no matter how emotionally intimate we believe we are with another person, we can never fully know and understand another person’s thoughts, motivations, beliefs,  passions, dreams and goals.  We can only derive an approximation of their full thinking process.

If you don’t believe this, think about your own thoughts.  How often do you think something that another person might be shocked or  horrified to know?  How often do you think something but say something completely different?  How much do you really know about another person and how much do others really know about you?

Love is always enough when we stop focusing on the other person, when we stop expecting to receive something specific from someone else.  Love is enough when we focus on our own gratitude for being alive, when we take time every day to quiet our mind and to go within.  Love is enough when we view every human being as a complete and sovereign entity, when we offer our love and compassion and friendship without expectation of immediate return on investment.

Love is not enough when we expect our life to be different from the way it currently is.  Love is not enough when we demand that others “be’ different from the way they currently are.  Love is not enough when we suffer over people and circumstance that we cannot control.

Change is the only certainty we have in life.  We can love our life by accepting current reality as it is, whether we like it or not, and then continue to hold a clear vision of the way we want our life to be.  If we hold on to our vision, let go of our fear of the unknown and our fear that the way it is right now is the way it will always be, we can take small steps every day toward reaching our goals.

Love is not enough if we stare at our current reality and berate our self for being where we are.  Love is all we need if we can pat our self on the back and love our self, every single step along the way toward building the life and relationships we truly desire.

Is love enough in your life now?  If not, what do you need to do, to be, to learn, or to receive so that you can honestly say to yourself that love is enough for you?

26 thoughts on “When Love is Not Enough

  1. Ouch Mindy,
    That is not only a boundary violation but also a dilemma for you. Are you ready and willing to move if you speak up, confront your landlady’s daughter, and get only an angry, attacking response back? If you have a plan B, then it might be worth speaking up.

    If for some reason you need to stay put for awhile, then it is probably better not to confront anyone – although you can just talk to her daughter about it, without demanding or expecting anything, perhaps in just a questioning tone and attitude?

  2. I understand where you’re coming from with these ideas… However, think of how much misinterpretation can arise from it. Should someone that is being emotionally or even physically abused learn to love their reality? They probably do, for all the wrong reasons. Now, I think you get my point. I always say the talk should be more about perspective… Because today is one thing and tomorrow another.

    • Tamara,
      You have brought up a good point. I have not said to “love your reality.” What I keep saying is to “love yourself,” no matter how bad your situation is, no matter how much it seems to be your fault that you got yourself into the situation. The choice is to love yourself and do whatever you can to keep yourself in a strong state of mind, to get the support your need, and to take the actions that will help you to get yourself into a better situation.

      When someone in an abusive relationship appears to love their reality they are probably living in a state of denial and fear of what will happen if they do anything to upset the situation. This is where self love and support from others is eseential.

      Warmly,

      Dr. Erica

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