Are you a worker, a manager or a leader in your relationships?Recently, I had the privilege some videos of John Maxwell, author of over 50 books, including The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, The Power of Attitude, and The Power of Influence, explain with his all his charisma and enthusiasm the difference between leadership and management. Then I found some additional information contrasting and differentiating between the qualities and actions of a leader, a manager and a worker. Leader, Manager, Worker

This got me thinking about relationships. There are 3 ways to be involved in a relationship: as a leader (transforming your relationships), a manager (handling what is given to you) or a worker (going along with the established program ). Which one are you in your relationships?

Here are some of the qualities of each type.


*Performs basic and repetitive tasks and develops task expertise
*Follows rules, works independently and gives feedback to the manager or leader
*Works independently, is responsible for own effort but lacks an overarching viewpoint
*Interacts with outsiders, customers and other service providers according to directions
*External locus of control, creates approved products and services


*Controls, keeps track of things, budgets and makes ends meet
*Plans, organizes, solves problems and is responsible for performance of the group
*Creates structure, sets and follows rules, monitors the functioning of the group
*Interacts internally, keeping people in line, following the prescribed system
*External locus of control, avoids risk, and remains in comfort zone


*Creative risk taker: creates things, changes things and shakes things up
*Defines the mission, finds resources and creates an environment
*Sets the direction, the tone and aligns people and their activities
*Interacts with outsiders, inspires people and is responsible for overall outcome
*Internal locus of control, observes the outside culture and creates new systems

Now take some time to reflect upon your most significant relationships (professional, personal and intimate). How do you approach these different relationships? Are you a manager in your business, a leader in your personal relationships and just a worker with your significant other or your family?
Developing the leadership qualities can actually transform all aspects of your life? So much depends upon your point of view, your own personal attitude toward your life and toward everyone in it.

“The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That’s the day we truly grow up.” John Maxwell

So which one are YOU in YOUR relationships? Are you a skilled LEADER (transforming your relationships), a competent MANAGER (handling what is given to you), or a WORKER (merely going along with the established program and feeling inadequate and incapable of asserting your needs and making changes)? Please share your thoughts below.

If you are ready to become a leader and make changes in your relationships NOW, schedule a private coaching or counseling session with me at

Ready for some self-reflection to lead your toward developing your own leadership potential, read one of my books Love, Touch, Heal or my ebooks at Love, Touch, Heal EBooks.


Dr. Erica