YOU Make a Difference – Don’t Ever Forget That

Your Actions Don’t Really Matter, Do They?


IntegrityMattersDo you sometimes think that your actions don’t matter, that perhaps you are just part of a group and you will hardly be noticed.  Yes, sometimes in a very large group – at a conference or large event – you may be able to slip quietly away and not be noticed.  But if you are involved in a small group – a team, a group of co-workers, a gathering of friends or family – your actions and your behavior DO have an effect.

I have a strong work ethic and a very strong sense of personal responsibility and integrity.  However, I continue to discover that many individuals work hard when they see immediate personal gain but easily slack off after the initial excitement and enthusiasm wears off.  When they are excited about a new project or a new group, they will enthusiastically show up for the first session or two.  And then something inevitably happens.  An invitation, a higher than usual workload, a potential date or business prospect, and the former commitment is no longer considered.  In the moment it seems more beneficial to not honor the original agreement because this other event is now a higher priority.  After all, the reasoning goes, I am not the only person in the group so it won’t matter if I miss this one session.


Your Actions Do Matter


But it does matter.  It matters to the person organizing the group.  It matters to the other people who brush aside any conflicting responsibilities to keep their commitment to the group meeting.  And it lowers the interest, enthusiasm and connection you feel with that group.  Bonding occurs through consistent, ongoing connection.  Sporadic meetings, on again then off-again, lead to less trust, less interaction and less group cohesiveness.

How do you lead your life, day by day?  Do you want to have a positive impact on the people you know or do you just assume that people will forgive and forget?  Do you truly believe that you can make a commitment and honor it only if it is easy and does not conflict with any other desirable events or outcomes?  The next time you are about to renege on a promise, an agreement or a commitment, stop and take a moment to reflect on the possible ripple effects upon the other people involved.


Are You Living A Life of Integrity?  


Living a life of integrity is not easy.  It requires strength of character and determination that few people can maintain for very long.  I strongly encourage you to strive to become the person who says what you mean and means what you say, who does what you agree to do and does not do what you have promised not to do.  Greatness is revealed in small, ongoing acts of integrity in the midst of everyday, normal life experiences.


Talk to Me I can help you recognize and live the greatness that is YOU.

Tell me what you want and desire and need.  Leave a comment below and share this post if you have found value here.

Here’s to living your life in love







22 thoughts on “YOU Make a Difference – Don’t Ever Forget That

  1. Dr. Erica,

    I have been that way all my life. My attention span is short, I’m a great starter and a very poor finisher. So, that part of your post really hit home for me.

    Yes, I know my actions make a difference, especially within my small circle. And, they too have an influence on me. As for keeping my word I strive to do that at every waking moment. I want to be trusted and counted on.

    I think this came from my upbringing and my mother. She always wanted me to consider how my actions would affect others. In some instances that was a good thing, in others not so good. There is a degree of selflessness that can be detrimental.

    Honor your word and you’ll be known as a trusted entity.



    • Rick,

      You seem to be giving a mixed message. On the one hand, you say you have always had a short attention span so you get started with something but then lose enthusiasm. On the other hand, you say that you always strive to keep your world.

      So my question is, What do you do when you have lost that initial enthusiasm but you have given your word to continue doing what you have promised?


  2. Dr. Erica, wonderful insight and we all should follow this great advise on being yourself when alone or in public. When serving others and interaction is being done. We have to be careful of what we commit to and that is all there is.

    Yes, there has been hundreds of times when I would have kept a meeting on a given schedule yet forces uncontrolled by myself will have me unable not to make the meeting nor contact the person who I am to meet. This has never been face to face yet on the phone only.

    However, as far as integrity is we each can only maintain it with being responsible and except accountability. Then the follow through with eagerness. Hey, we all have only one thing given is choice. You have to determine what it is that is best for you which then you can help others.

    Thank you Dr. Erica for bringing solutions to our challenges and helping us breakthrough our barriers. You are appreciated and respected throughout our industry.

    • William,

      Of course there are times when external circumstances do prevent us from keeping an agreement or commitment. But sometimes it is just carelessness or thoughtlessness and at other times it is making a choice to go for what you want, in the moment, regardless of the effect upon other people involved.


      Dr. Erica

  3. Hi Dr. Erica,

    Super point!

    I see this in the power of blogging tribes. I half-committed for months. A while back I decided to commit daily; posting comments and sharing content. My returns were immense.

    If you commit to a group, realizing that each little act, each little sacrifice, each little interaction, adds up, you will quickly realize the secret to happiness. Little, seemingly insignificant acts add up to astounding accomplishments.

    You matter in such a big way, nobody can truly fathom their impact on humanity. Wonderfully awesome power we all have access to.

    Thanks for sharing the inspiring read Dr. Erica!


    • Ryan,

      You have added another piece to the point I am making, the piece about doing small acts, consistently, without expecting immediate return in any particular way. Your commenting and syndicating other people’s blogs regularly has led to immense returns over time. It is the same with any of our acts. Positive and negative actions often appear to have little effect in the short run, but over time the effect can become enormous.


      Dr. Ericaq

  4. Dr. Erica,
    always a pleasure to read your articles.. they are so articulated and you share so much rich content.. I always gain something interesting from reading.

    Well, I learned a long time a go that my actions matter.. and sometime I wish I do not know that because if I do not pay attention my SMALL EGO get in the way.

    Other times, I just “know” my actions matter and that make me feel great since I know how it feels to be on the other side of the fence.

    Believe or not, I learn that in a situation that you are most familiar with (marriage haha 🙂 when I was married, no matter what I was doing for her, and for the family, I was always put down and feeling that no matter what I was doing (even working 20 hours a day at certain times to make ends meet).

    Well that have changed a lot now and I am happy where I stand with my self and others, and deep down I always thank my ex wife for being there and do what she was doing so I had the opportunity to grow in many ways..

    Anyway, back to your great article, and since we are both involved in a small group (B3) I musy say that I noticed my actions much more clsoely… because I always have peole like you supporting me by pointing little things here and there.. I still remember when I first got in the B3 group and you scolded me for writing something as a comment and I should have done it privately…

    That my friend, teach me a lot.. it teaches me to learn what I am doing before going ahead and not it wrong haha 🙂

    Thanks so much again for sharing such a wisdom in this regard… always a pleasure to visit your blog.

    • Nick,

      And I thought I was just being helpful to someone who was new to the group, but you felt as if you were being scolded. That just shows how careful we need to be when we interact with others and how the other person can hold onto feelings of hurt and criticism for a very long time without our even knowing that we have caused that effect.


      Dr. Erica

  5. I try my hardest to participate in something I have agreed to if I would be letting someone down by not doing so. If you are chasing immediate personal gain then you are likely to be let down or disappointed and your reputation will suffer. This applies to both your personal and business life.

    I enjoy helping people where I can, probably as much for my ego as altruistic reasons 🙂

    I think when younger I used to do it to be accepted as my confidence was lacking. These days I am more confident in myself so the reasons have changed. It still gives me satisfaction. (Even if it means me catching up on certain commitments before Sunday midday EST!).

    • Sue,

      I agree with you. When we are young, and not as confident, we may do things just for please others. But it is a good feeling to keep our commitments and follow through as promised just for our own sense of personal satisfaction and well being.


      Dr. Erica

  6. Great post, Dr Erica. We all need to take a look at ourselves from time to time and see if we are keeping up with our commitments.

    Thanks for a little bit of tough love… 🙂

    • Shelly,

      We all have moments when we may temporarily forget our commitments, even more often our commitments to our self. A reminder helps us to stay connected to our true purpose.


      Dr. Erica

  7. Erica,

    I’m another one who will keep promises to others, but promises to myself? Not very well at all. I’m fine if there is externally imposed discipline, but not if it’s entirely left up to me.

    Example: My son Andrew found a gadget that will turn my computer monitor off at a certain time each night. If I have to turn the timer off for any reason, it’s all too easy just to “forget” to turn it back on again, and then I fall right back into my old habits of staying on the computer till all hours of the night. Which reminds me… it’s time to ask him to turn it back on again!!!


    • Willena,

      At least you have half of the equation. So many people don’t keep promises to their selves or to others. It feels so good when we do keep a promise to our self. For example, I promised myself I would go to Hippocrates Institute for lunch once every week. Today I have a lot of work to do online and my mind is saying to skip it. But that is not keeping my promise to myself about my health. \ Problem is there are only so many hours in a day and I am having difficulty fitting everything into a single day – the working out, the healthy food and getting my online work completely. And I keep working toward those goals.

      Warmly, Dr. Erica

  8. Hi Dr. Erica,
    Your post serves as a great reminder that we are all connected. Our actions, or lack there of, have an effect on others in ways that we can not always see or expect or anticipate. Your closing remarks reminded me of something we say at committee meetings… “Say what you mean, mean what you say and don’t say it mean” Always good advice!

    • Dawn,

      I love that addition to the statement “Say what you mean, mean what you say” “And don’t say it mean.” It can sometimes be so easy to say it mean when we are frustrated or want to get away from a difficult person or situation.


      Dr. Erica

  9. Hi Dr. Erica,

    There is a saying: “When you pull out a blade of grass you shake the Universe.” This means that everything is interconnected from the smallest leaf to the biggest galaxy.

    My actions matter. Always. Even when I am not aware of the effect it exists. Sometimes my actions have an immediate effect, sometimes the effect is delayed with days or years. Sometimes the effect of my actions appears after I am no longer on the Earth. But there is always an effect. And it matters.

    The correct attitude is “Everything I do matters”. This is especially true in a relationship. A successful relationship is obviously built from the tiniest things or actions: a smile, a nice word, a little gift or the simple fact that you are there.

    Now, if everything matters, your actions must be done with care and you must pay attention to all those little things that seem to never matter. It matters.

    Integrity means to pay attention to the little details. If your little things are done with love and care, your biggest actions and endeavours will be the same.

    Have a wonderful day

    • Silviu,

      All of our actions do matter. They matter in the effect we have upon others and they also matter in the effect upon us. Not only do we need to think of what is good for someone else, but we also have to consider what we need for our self. For example, when someone is taking too much of our time which we need to be able to focus on our own projects, then we have to find a way to stop the intrusion.


      Dr. Erica

  10. Dr Erica thank you for the post I always tell my children to know the consequences of everything they do or say before they do it and always try to keep their word. This will make me take a harder look at myself to see if i’m living what i am preaching.The old saying is do as i say not as i do, but now i feel i need to watch my actions and tell them do as i say and as i do.

    • Allen,

      What a wonderful lesson to teach your children, to know the consequences – or at least consider what could possibly be the consequences – of their words and actions.

      Warmly, Dr. Erica

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